Showing posts with label Sarcasm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarcasm. Show all posts

Scam

I received a scam email this morning. I have no idea what is going on in the heads of these scammers, but please-lah, if you want to scam make it more believable, okay? One look at the email and it's so obviously fake.

Here's an excerpt:


The Unicef Orgnasation, Would like to notify you that you have been chosen by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of a cash Grant/Donation for your own personal, educational, and business development. The Unicef Orgnasation was formed in 1947 after WWII to help children displaced by the war. It was then called the United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund. The United Nations Organization (UNO) and the European Union (EU) was conceived with the objective of human growth, educational, and community development.

To celebrate the 27th anniversary program, The Unicef Organisation is giving out a yearly donation of One Million Four Hundred and Seventy Thousand United States Dollars. These specific Donations/Grants will be awarded to 70 lucky international recipients worldwide....

...You are required to contact the Permanent Secetary below for qualification documentation and processing of your claims. After contacting our office, you will be given your pin number, which you will used in claiming the funds. Please endeavor to quote your Awarded pin numbers (U-777-1815, D-01-47) in all discussions.


So obviously scam, right?

Someone actually analyzed the email and poked fun at the numerous errors that led leaked the scam. Damn funny.

Tip to scammers: if you intend to cheat people's money, check your spelling first dammit.

~みはる~
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Cooking Hazards

For the past few weeks, I have been preparing homecook food, and in the process, have been exposed to various cooking hazards. Let me share with you my top two hazards, and the solutions I have devised.

Top 2 hazards of food preparation:

1. Worm in vegetable

  • Hazard:
When cleaning the rosette-bud lettuce called locally 'Eu Mak', beware of elastic earthworms hiding behind the ridges of the leaves. These eyeless, boneless, and limbless creatures are usually found burrowed in the juicy stems of the leaves and will wriggle fiercely when provoked.

  • Solution:
Hold the rosette-bud vege an arm's length away (you don't want worms wriggling at your face), and use a knife to cut the stem of the bud. Let the leaf drop onto the sink (you don't want the worm to crawl onto your fingers). Check the leaf to ensure no worms are present, then turn the leaf over to check again (you don't want worms wriggling into your esophagus). If something maroon, long, elastic-looking, and is wriggling, pick the leaf with a forcep and dunk it in a yellow biohazard bag. Repeat the same for every leaf before rinsing with clean H2O. Place the yellow hazard bag in the incinerator.


2. Worm in vegetable
  • Hazard:
When peeling sweet potato skin, beware of tiny, white worms burrowed in the tuber. Do not be fooled by the small size nor innocent white appearance of these wriggling things; they can be a menace to your sweet-potato-dessert preparation. These evil wrigglers can be found munching carbohydrates under the surface of the tuber skin, and will cause cardiac arrest to individuals peeling the tuber skin with a common kitchen peeler.

  • Solution:
When washing the tuber under running tap water, check the surface for labyrinth-like marks on the tuber skin. If you see a lot of localized S-shape markings, immediately dunk the tuber into a yellow biohazard bag. Double-bag the biohazard bag, and throw it into the incinerator. Should you fail to notice these markings, and come face-to-face with something white and wriggling in the tuber, obey your reflexes, release the tuber from your grasp immediately (you don't want worms wriggling in your hands), throw boiling hot water over the tuber (you don't want worms crawling up the sink) and dispose the tuber in a yellow biohazard bag using a pair of thongs. Incinerate the biohazard bag IMMEDIATELY.



I think you get my point.

PS: Biohazard bags are optional and are replaceable with PP-type plastic bags.

~みはる~
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