Silverscreen Gems

I meant to do this every time I stepped out of the cinema, but either I couldn't find the time or am just plain lazy. So here, in chronological order, I compiled a short review of the few movies I recently watched and thoroughly appreciated the excellence of its cinematic art.


Yes Man

This is your typical Jim Carrey-comedy. He's still disgustingly funny after so many movies under his belt. What I find attractive was the message of the movie: that sometimes a spontaneous 'yes' can open doors of opportunities for ourselves. To give in to spontaneity may, in some ways and sometimes, enrich not only ours but also others' lives. For a long time, I had not laughed so much in a cinema. You would have thought they had released laughing gas in the theater.
Best Comedy.


崖の上のポニョ　(Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea)

Of course I wouldn't miss the animation that was claimed the best in year 2008 in Japan. What's more, it's the product of the master Miyazaki Hayao. And the theme song is so cute it makes me want to watch the movie. So I did. As expected, the animation was fantastic. What I really loved was the voice acting. Little Sousuke and Ponyo were marvellous. Especially Sousuke, I love the little boy to bits!! The storyline was okay, very Miyazaki-fantasy style. The art was of course fabulous: almost every frame was hand-drawn! But I didn't really like Ponyo when she's weak on magical powers.... she looks like a frog-monster!
Best Animation.


Slumdog Millionaire

Recently, there's this fad of Hollywood+Bollywood collaborations. Indian actors and cultures are making waves in Hollywood. Not all are fantastic products, but Slumdog Millionaire is one of the best collaborations ever. This movie is, for no better words, fantastic. It plays on a rather cliché theme of lost love and life's hardships. What I find fascinating about this movie was the vivid depiction of the lives of children in the slums and their perspectives in eking a living. Can you hold on to your innocence with no roof and an empty stomach? Would you cave in or stand by to the end protecting your principles and believing in the people who you think you love? I like the ability of the movie to evoke such philosophical notions and yet able to deliver a fairy-tale ending in the end. The credit of the film though, goes to the child casts. They are simply fantastic. Words cannot describe my awe for their brilliant acting. I also loved the way the movie was filmed. The cinematography itself was intensely emotional and heart-wrenching.
Best Cinematography.


Marley & Me

I've been waiting for this movie for quite a while because the trailer seemed so funny. And I wasn't disappointed after such a long wait. Because I've read the book, the storyline was predictable for me, and so I didn't expect much surprise. Well, I was surprised by the fact that I still cried when Marley died in the movie, although I already knew he would! The movie is great with the scenic outdoor shots and fine acting by Aniston and Wilson. It's a rather good family movie, but the book is still better. One thing I liked about the movie was that it raises a very realistic point in life: that sometimes, we give up our dreams for the people we love and often we wondered, is the sacrifice worth it all?
Best Slice-of-Life.


おくりびと ('Okuribito' - Departures)

Can I just say how much I love this movie??
I LOVE this movie!!!
It totally wrecked me. This is probably the movie in which I cried almost nonstop for a good 10mins. The tears just wouldn't stop flowing. My scarf in the end became my towel, soaking up all my tears. Okuribito won the 81st Academy Awards for Best Foreign Film, but I think they should've won the Best Picture. The actors were great, the story was great, the scenery were great, the music was FANTASTIC. With Joe Hisaishi at the hem of the scores, you can expect no less.
Okuribito tells about a cellist-turned-mortician, and how he stood by the job he found to be fulfilling and honorable, despite the social stigma attached to it. I simply loved the way the story weaved the multiple relationships together and perfectly bind all in a very beautiful and satisfactory ending: how the stigma collapsed with his perseverance to pursue a profession so despised by the society, how it helped him reconcile with his estranged father, and how the meaning of the job humbled him as a person. It also shows us just how fragile life is. I haven't watched a Japanese movie this wonderful. Considering it took 10 years to complete the entire production, from the moment actor Masahiro Motoki conceived the idea, this movie is worth far more than 'Best Foreign Film'. A film art coming from such a socially polished society playing such a socially taboo topic, this is a masterpiece, for no better words to describe. I LOVE this movie!
Best-est Movie. Ever.




～みはる～

Depression

Until last month, I subconsciously refused to admit something.

I have been in depression since last December.

Maybe I hadn't seen it on myself. I mean, not everyone can see themselves in depression. Maybe I knew and just didn't want to admit I'm clinically depressed. I mean, I'm not depressed, I'm just... overworked.

But I was depressed.

That is according to the Burns Depression Checklist (BDC). When I first did the BDC, I scored 48%, which put me in the range of 'moderate depression'. Am I worried? Of course I'm worried. I saw the symptoms in myself. I would be moody and down for more than half the time. I was stressed with my work, and felt incredibly put down because nothing I did could meet my own expectations. I felt hopeless, overwhelmed, anxious, guilty, worried, despair, lonely.... all the signature expressions of depression. Almost every other day my mood would plunge rock-bottom and I would cry because I feel so overwhelmed by the conflict that is going on within and around me. While I have been a sensitive person all this while, to get emotional that often was not normal for myself. I could feel the weight on my chest. I was suppressing tears during work. I just felt like I was in the pits - so far down and there's no way I could pull myself out of the trench of emotional and mental despair. I wanted to get out, but I couldn't find the will. I felt like I lost everything - my enthusiasm, my smile, my willpower, my intelligence, my confidence, my soul... myself.

What was particularly worrying to me was that I could feel my friends slipping away from me just as I am slipping away from them. Because I was depressed, my mood was always bad and I'm never in a good state of mind to interact with them and I preferred to not socialize because it wears me out. My health was also not exactly fantastic. I keep getting very bad migraines, which are pulsating headaches that reverberated in my head at an intensity great enough to interfere my work. So much so that when I approached the campus doctor for advice, he referred me to a neurologist at the national neuroscience center. And my memory seems to go from bad to worse; I cannot remember things, I feel my intellect diving several notches below. Looks like there's nothing funny about the acronym 'permanent head damage' for PhD.

I kept asking myself why and how I landed myself in depression. It could have been stress from my PhD confirmation exam. It could have been disappointment with the no-progress of my experiments. It could have been the lost of directionality in my research project. It could have been the difference in mentality in my working relationship with my boss. It could have been the unrealistic expectations I set for myself. It could have been my over-empathizing with other people. It could have been the society's shallow attitude in general. It could have been my insecurities and need to please other people. It could have been deprivation from Japanese classes. It could have been one thousand and one other reasons, but one which I find most apt was, in a friend's words, "burnt out", which subsequently led to my twisted perspective in everyday life.

One thing that led to clearing the dark cloud above my head was the news I've passed my JLPT2 exam. I was happy because I scored above my expectation. I was glad I could give success to my dedicated Japanese teacher for all her hardwork in coaching us. Somehow, the achievement gave me confidence, reassured my strengths and gave me a little joy. I felt useful and hopeful with this accomplishment. The other thing that lifted my spirits was a book by Dr David Burns, 'Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy'. I picked up the book at whim, and as I turned every page, I felt Dr Burns was giving me a psychiatric treatment. He accurately nailed the cause of my depression and suggested methods to overcome depression. I felt hopeful after reading two chapters of his book and somehow through that, I found a little motivation to help myself out of depression.

As I'm writing this, I'm still reading his book and trying to help myself. I've been feeling a bit more cheerful and motivated, although not to say I'm completely out of depression. I also am making a point to not burn myself out, because I find it feeds my frustration. Therefore, I have been getting off work on time, going for regular exercise, and importantly, resuming my favorite Japanese classes. There's something incredibly therapeutic about the Japanese classes conducted by Mizusaki sensei. In short, I make an effort to spend more time on myself because I think I owe it to me.

However, the neurologist appointment remains. I hope the check up will be all clear.

～みはる～