Love's gift

Love's gift cannot be given, it waits to be accepted.

- Rabindranath Tagore

The depth and tenderness of that quote struck me deeply as I witnessed an old friend taking a ceremonious step into married life.

It's strange to watch someone you have known for over two decades standing there in front, vowing to stay with another person for life. Not weird-strange. Just, happy-strange. Tender-strange, maybe.

It's like, we were once carefree, innocent children, running around screaming and playing without a care for the world. The laughter, the mischief, the tantrums, the tears, the hugs, the childlike wonder.

And now, we are carefree children no longer. We do not run around screaming and playing anymore. No more mischief, tantrums, carefree world. We are adults, bounded by responsibilities, burden, worries, problems of the world.

But when I am with her, I seem to forget we are adults with heavy burdens. She is still the same carefree innocent friend I used to play with over 20 years ago. My time stopped there with her; we are still two 7-year-olds running around with childlike wonder.

And as I watched her standing there, hand-in-hand with the love of her life, I feel so much joy my heart can't contain. My eyes brimmed with tears of happiness. I am still filled with childlike wonder, at my carefree innocent friend getting married. I am just so happy she found someone to share her life with. The beautiful glow on my friend's face today taught me one thing:

"Love's gift cannot be given, it waits to be accepted."

Congratulations, Grace. I wish you an everlasting and blessed married life!

Stroll over ride

Living in a bustling city, I often forget the simple pleasures of slowing down a run to a walk. Although I try to refrain from perpetually rushing about, when immersed in a herd that's, well, perpetually rushing at a dizzying speed, I somehow naturally fall into the hectic pace as well. (It's all about efficiency here)

However, words of my wise friends are always at the back of my mind, reprimanding me from time to time to forgo rushing and just slow my pace. And so that was what happened this evening, as I got off work and headed to the track for a quick jog. I would usually walk about half a kilometre to the track, but as I got out of my building today, I saw a shuttle bus pulled to the bus stop about 10m away. Now, I could spend 10mins walking half a kilometre or sprint to the bus stop to catch a 2min bus ride to the track.

Repressing the urge to run to the bus, I turned away from the bus stop and started my walk towards the sports centre. And I was pleasantly rewarded. Dusk was darkening into night as clouds overcast the sky. It had just rained shortly before and the air was cool and refreshing. Streetlights flickered to life. The leaves on the upright trees stirred gently. A distant puddle splashed as a car drove by. Unconsciously, my pace slowed to a leisurely stroll. I breathed deeply and realized how I love being right here at this moment. And how fortunate it is that I had chosen not to ride with the bus.

I love the gentle breeze, not the blast of air-cond of the bus, in my face.

I love the wideness of overcast sky, not the narrow ceiling of bus, over my head.

I love the soft glow of the streetlamp, not the glare of fluorescent light, casting my shadow on the street.

I love the smell of after rain, not the stale air of the bus, in the air.

I love the chirp of crickets, not the din and chatter of people crowding the bus, echoing into the night.

By opting a stroll over a ride, I was rewarded ten full minutes of simple pleasures that is, in fact, omnipresent. I'm glad I slowed my run this evening to heed the stillness of mother nature.

Have you communed with nature today?

～みはる～

Berliner Philharmoniker

I just came back from one of the best orchestra concerts I've attended in my life.


Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra is here in town to play for the first time. Under the baton of Sir Simon Rattle, they are performing 2 nights of classical music, and I had the privilege to attend the first night.

I'm still speechless from the concert. Plainly because my mind was blown away, and has yet to quite return. The quality of performance was just... this whole other level. The music was (naturally) brilliant, but what made the performance very enjoyable was the musicians and the conductor. Especially the flautists, oboists, bassoonists and violinists, they looked like they were thoroughly enjoying playing in their own happy world. And Sir Simon Rattle was... let's just say, now I know why he's been highly recommended.

The programme tonight was:
• Hadyn's Symphony No.99 in E-flat Major (Hob.1/99)
• Berg's Three Pieces for Orchestra Op.6 (1929 version)
• Brahms' Symphony No.2 in D Major Op.73

My favourite had to be Brahms' Symphony. Already I am a fan of Brahms, and Berliner had to play the symphony so flawlessly, I was starry-eyed throughout the entire piece. The dynamics and the energy was simply... brilliant. Sir Simon Rattle graciously obliged to an encore, of which I do not know the name of the song, but I can only say it was fantastic!

After a Berliner experience, classical concerts will never be the same again. (well, Academy of St. Martin-In-The-Fields was awesome too, but Berliner is still a notch up...) I'm so grateful to be granted this once-in-a-lifetime experience!

Now let me go gather my mind blown-away....

～みはる～

The glass is half full

It's been a while since I last (properly) updated this blog. A lot has happened within the last 4 months or so. Many changes externally and internally. But then again, change is constant!

First, as per my annual ritual, had to uproot....again. Landlords were moving back here and wanted to reclaim their house. Although it should not be new by now, had to call numerous agents (I stopped remembering their names already, just went by the district and block number of the apartment units they offered) and schedule viewing appointments, bla bla bla. However, there was a deeper problem under these routine stuff we (as housemates) were facing - there wasn't an explicitly unanimous decision on the location of the new unit, or even the housemate arrangement. This was further muddied by other side issues, and to summarize, things got slightly unpretty at one point and it ended with us going on separate ways.

On one hand, it was rather difficult for me because that move was as good as walking out on a partnership all of us have built for a couple of years now. But on the other hand, I really needed to walk out and move on; it was liberating to throw out excess baggage. It was hardly easy, but I mustered enough strength to turn my back and walk towards a brighter place; although I wished it didn't end with such sour aftertaste.

I do thank my former housemates for the lessons and experiences they gave me. It is priceless. But I'm glad to have moved on.

Second, I think I have been on an eventful emotional rollercoaster ride for more than a year now. Oh wait, I'm always on a rollercoaster ride. What's different this time, is that I took a proactive role in dissecting my problem and implementing solutions. Over the 12 months or so, I read really insightful books, listened to great people speak, had meaningful conversations, meet admirable individuals... I made effort to pay attention to lessons that I can and have to learn from each of these encounters. I was (and still is) constantly on self-reflection. I felt the importance of connecting with people, directly or indirectly. I was reassured of my capabilities, my potential, and my motive to be as enduringly compassionate as I can be. This was particularly important to me, because I find it difficult to champion compassion in a cynical community. It was enormously reassuring to know that some great people share my ideals. Thanks to this healthy progress of personal development, I am now discovering and (perhaps) attempting to realize my purpose on this little planet called Earth.

It does feel good to have focus in life.

Apart from that, I have been kept busy with a vacation in Europe (yes, a 2nd under a year. They say good stuff comes in 3s... when's my 3rd trip to Europe coming??!), scientific collaboration with a Canadian veteran scientist, catching up with old friends, awesome music concerts, chillout sessions,movies... it's been great since I stopped looking the proverbial glass as half empty and view it as half full.

I'm blessed!

～みはる～

Arts Festival - Movie and Theatre

I'm on a little Arts Festival of my own. This is a brief account of my movie and theatre festival so far.

Animal Farm

I watched this play under the recommendation of my colleague, who is quite a fan of theatre and plays. Though initially hesitant (tickets were not cheap!), I am so glad I went for this play because it is fantastic for a local production. I was delightfully surprised and entertained by all the 'animals'. The actors were truly fantastic and world class.

Based on the novella of the same name by George Orwell, the play was hilarious yet thought-provoking. (find out more about Animal Farm here.) Props and sound were minimal but the actors shone in their act. I was thoroughly entertained.

Two thumbs up from me!


Chicago

It was my delight to be able to watch one of the greatest musical productions of all time. Chicago, one of the longest running broadway ever, was here and I had the luck to watch it, from a very good seat!!

I'm doing injustice to merely describe this musical as brilliant, sexy, exhilarating or impressive. It was just... awesome. The songs were brilliant, the actors were brilliant, the music was brilliant, the story was brilliant, it was just... awesome.

Chicago tells about the trials of two murderesses, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly, who were represented by the smooth-talking lawyer Billy Flynn, to a background of the Prohibition-era Chicago. (learn more about Chicago here) It is a dark story of murder, adultery, deception, violence, and corruption fantastically played out to a medley of jazz, swing and tango. I must say the actors were just astoundingly brilliant. Sharon Millerchip as Roxie Hart and Deone Zanotto as Velma Kelly were simply awesome. The remaining cast members were just as brilliant in their supporting roles. And oh, the costumes! Skimpy, tight, black and sexy, it set the tone of the story perfectly right.

My favorite scene from the show had to be the 'Cell Block Tango'. About 6-7 ladies imprisoned for their crimes wailed and lashed in anger and indignation of how they were 'wrongfully punished' for their crime (i.e. murder). It was dark yet funny at the same time. Fantastic!

Chicago is a highly recommended musical for anyone interested in theatre and play.
Two thumbs up from me!


Ice Kacang Puppy Love (初恋红豆冰)

I'm very glad I caught this on cinema. Ice Kacang Puppy Love is Malaysian singer Aniu's directorial debut and it is the embodiment of how every Malaysian movie should be. Perhaps it is that I come from the same generation as Aniu and thus I share his sentiments, but I could understand everything that he wanted to convey in his movie - the quaintness of kampung life, the bittersweet memory of your first crush, the struggles of vivacious young people trying to make a mark for themselves,.. everything. Somehow it makes me feel connected: the guli games we played, the sweltering kopitiam our grandparents dragged us to, the I-don't-friend-you-anymore childishness each and every one of us went through in our school days, the blue school pinafores,... the lost of our innocence as we leave the idyllic cocoon of our childhood in kampung for the bustling city and modern adulthood.

What I love most about the movie is the cinematography and the music. The angle of capturing coupled with the right music at the right time itself created the nostalgy that Aniu wants to bring across. So powerful was it that some scenes evoked feelings and brought tears to my eyes.

Of course it goes without saying the star-studded all-Malaysian cast was brilliant, as was the choice of filming location. My hometown went on silverscreen! I must also say, that the story, while not entirely awesome, is very nicely written with all relationships delicately interwoven and perfectly balanced in melodrama and humor. I also liked that Aniu gave his film a very Malaysian flavor, with the potpourri of different cultures and dialects spoken. It is, in short, a fantastic local film qualified for international film festival!

To top it off, the theme song, performed by Aniu, is a cover of an old song written and produced by a former local artiste. I preferred Aniu's version because his voice quality and music arrangement alone could blanket me in melancholy.

Totally recommended for all Malaysians. Two thumbs up!

纯文艺恋爱
(初恋红豆冰電影主題曲)

你是汹涌的海浪 我是疲惫的沙滩
暖暖的斜阳 吊在我们的肩膀
你 用醉人的眼波 拴住恋爱的绳索
那么痴迷 那么绮丽

你轻轻柔柔的细述着槟城下的雨
淋湿你的长发几十年来抹也抹不去
啊 我会慢慢的想起 几十年都不会忘记

轻轻的为你唱首歌 几十年的歌
靠在你的背后
紧紧握着你的右手 慢慢的教你写首诗
要 你记着我的事
当你孤孤单单的时候我要继续为你唱出这首歌

～みはる～

Serendipity

Lately, I've had tons of stuff going on in my life.

The trip to Paris and London marked one of the best moments in my entire life. It was my first autumn in Europe (hopefully not the last) and it was all a wonderful, delightful experience save for a few unpleasant incidences. And yes, the whole Europe-account (plus pictures) will come up... when I have the time to sit down quietly and write one =)

A lot of weddings (not mine) as well in the last month. Several more friends registered formally as husband and wife (i.e. R.O.M-ed), and a few held ceremonial marriages. I had the fortune to participate in a close friend's wedding - from the night before her wedding to the full swing day ceremony and elegant dinner reception - and was part of all the fun and madness that went on. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I was brimming with joy and pure happiness watching two friends united in matrimony; simply happy that they have found each other's company significant in their lives.

So I had been jetting back and forth two neighboring countries, watching friends committing to their partner for life (I hope). Maybe it was just me, but I sense people are starting to give me that look as if to ask whether a single woman like moi is envious with all her friends moving on to the marriage chapter. And you know what, it surprises me too, but I don't. While I'm very sincerely happy for my newlywed friends, I'm not at all envious of them getting married. I do stop to imagine what it's like to be in their place, though, exchanging vows that you would stick with that other person through thick and thin for the rest of your life, making children, starting family, and all that stuff. But I do not feel even the least envious. At the moment, I just don't feel like following the herd and walking down the default path. I want to take the road less traveled and find the unique place for myself in this world.

I have also been busy with another activity that is changing my life since the past month. Call it serendipity or fate or destiny or whatever, it is IT that brought Dr Mel Gill into my life. At a time just when I needed a mentor and motivator in life, he appeared and was there to guide my way. I recently signed up for a 6-day Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner course conducted by him, and I learnt so much more about life than I had in the last decade. I'll probably need a whole new post to even begin describe all the wonderful things that he had taught me. And because of him, I had the privilege to meet the most inspirational people in my entire life: Sister Teresa Hsu, Dilip Mukerjea, Dr Kwan KY, and extraordinary people who lead ordinary lives. I can't thank him enough for all the brilliant opportunities and wonderful insights he had shared at a time when I needed them so much. I feel humbled just being in the same room with him and all these people, what more being taught by them.

I'll probably discussed what he imparted to me in another post (when I have time to sit down and write...), but while this is still fresh in my mind, there's a poem by Sister Teresa Hsu I would like to share. Sister Teresa is a 112-year old former nurse, who in my opinion, is larger than life. She is the one person I have met in real life, who has nothing to give but only unconditional love and compassion. Just listening to her sharing her wisdom made my tears flow in class. She summed life with profound wisdom when she said:

Grieve if you must,
Parting is hell,
But life goes on,
So smile as well.

Thank you Sister Teresa Hsu.
Thank you Dr Mel Gill.

Britain's Got Talent 2009

I confess that I have been away indulging in guilty pleasures.

I've been religiously following Britain's Got Talent (BGT) 2009 on Youtube for 3 reasons:
a) Britain's really GOT talent,
b) Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan are the most enjoyable panel of judges to watch,
c) Ant and Dec are absolutely the funniest hosts ever. (Did I also mention Dec is really cute?!)

It's simply marvelous the variety of super talented acts that auditioned for BGT. Street dance, opera, theatre, intrumentalism, ventriloquism, you name it Britain's got it. The showcase of talents was, in no better words, mind-blowing. There are also really stupid and funny acts that makes you wonder how sane the British are (Mr Methane, Darth Jackson...), but the talented ones were really really really a delight to watch.

I have to say, this year's BGT has a line-up of nothing but amazing talents from the semi-finals onwards. Every act (well, almost) was brilliantly fantastic at each session of the semi-finals, and I find it so difficult to pick a favorite for the Final. However, I thoroughly adore:

Shaheen Jafargholi, the 12-year-old singer from Swansea with the most unbelievably powerful voice ever a kid can ever have,
Watch Shaheen at BGT '09 final

Hollie Steel, the 10-year-old singer-ballerina whose pure voice gave me the goosebumps,
Watch Hollie at BGT '09 final

Shaun Smith, the 17-year-old A-levels student who got me smitten with his renditions of rock-pop songs,
Watch Shaun at BGT '09 final

Diversity, the street dance group with the most original routine I've ever seen in my life,
Watch Diversity at BGT '09 final

Stavros Flatly, the father-son duo with simply the most entertaining Greek dance number EVER
Watch Stavros at BGT '09 final

Of course, there had been also so much hype about Susan Boyle, the 47-year-old singer from Scotland, whose rendition of 'I Dreamed A Dream' from Les Miserables, stunned the world (and still do).
Watch Susan at BGT '09 final

All these talents (and more) auditioned and competed for the coveted title of BGT 2009's winner as well as a chance to perform in the Royal Variety show in front of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. And seriously, you can't pick one from these because they are all equally fantastic!! The standard for BGT leapt really high this year, not one finalist was not good (well, except for 2 Grand, in my opinion).

And to my utmost delight, my favourite dance group, Diversity, was crowned the winner of BGT 2009. After their performance, there was no doubt they are the winner. In Amanda's words, they "nailed it" with their dance routine. It was sheer perfection.

It had been an excellent run of auditions and I simply can't wait for the next series of BGT to show more of British talents.

Can I just say, what blinking brilliant talents BGT have this year!

～みはる～

Disclaimer: All videos from Youtube and belongs to the respective uploaders. None of it is mine and all contents are owned by ITV.

Depression

Until last month, I subconsciously refused to admit something.

I have been in depression since last December.

Maybe I hadn't seen it on myself. I mean, not everyone can see themselves in depression. Maybe I knew and just didn't want to admit I'm clinically depressed. I mean, I'm not depressed, I'm just... overworked.

But I was depressed.

That is according to the Burns Depression Checklist (BDC). When I first did the BDC, I scored 48%, which put me in the range of 'moderate depression'. Am I worried? Of course I'm worried. I saw the symptoms in myself. I would be moody and down for more than half the time. I was stressed with my work, and felt incredibly put down because nothing I did could meet my own expectations. I felt hopeless, overwhelmed, anxious, guilty, worried, despair, lonely.... all the signature expressions of depression. Almost every other day my mood would plunge rock-bottom and I would cry because I feel so overwhelmed by the conflict that is going on within and around me. While I have been a sensitive person all this while, to get emotional that often was not normal for myself. I could feel the weight on my chest. I was suppressing tears during work. I just felt like I was in the pits - so far down and there's no way I could pull myself out of the trench of emotional and mental despair. I wanted to get out, but I couldn't find the will. I felt like I lost everything - my enthusiasm, my smile, my willpower, my intelligence, my confidence, my soul... myself.

What was particularly worrying to me was that I could feel my friends slipping away from me just as I am slipping away from them. Because I was depressed, my mood was always bad and I'm never in a good state of mind to interact with them and I preferred to not socialize because it wears me out. My health was also not exactly fantastic. I keep getting very bad migraines, which are pulsating headaches that reverberated in my head at an intensity great enough to interfere my work. So much so that when I approached the campus doctor for advice, he referred me to a neurologist at the national neuroscience center. And my memory seems to go from bad to worse; I cannot remember things, I feel my intellect diving several notches below. Looks like there's nothing funny about the acronym 'permanent head damage' for PhD.

I kept asking myself why and how I landed myself in depression. It could have been stress from my PhD confirmation exam. It could have been disappointment with the no-progress of my experiments. It could have been the lost of directionality in my research project. It could have been the difference in mentality in my working relationship with my boss. It could have been the unrealistic expectations I set for myself. It could have been my over-empathizing with other people. It could have been the society's shallow attitude in general. It could have been my insecurities and need to please other people. It could have been deprivation from Japanese classes. It could have been one thousand and one other reasons, but one which I find most apt was, in a friend's words, "burnt out", which subsequently led to my twisted perspective in everyday life.

One thing that led to clearing the dark cloud above my head was the news I've passed my JLPT2 exam. I was happy because I scored above my expectation. I was glad I could give success to my dedicated Japanese teacher for all her hardwork in coaching us. Somehow, the achievement gave me confidence, reassured my strengths and gave me a little joy. I felt useful and hopeful with this accomplishment. The other thing that lifted my spirits was a book by Dr David Burns, 'Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy'. I picked up the book at whim, and as I turned every page, I felt Dr Burns was giving me a psychiatric treatment. He accurately nailed the cause of my depression and suggested methods to overcome depression. I felt hopeful after reading two chapters of his book and somehow through that, I found a little motivation to help myself out of depression.

As I'm writing this, I'm still reading his book and trying to help myself. I've been feeling a bit more cheerful and motivated, although not to say I'm completely out of depression. I also am making a point to not burn myself out, because I find it feeds my frustration. Therefore, I have been getting off work on time, going for regular exercise, and importantly, resuming my favorite Japanese classes. There's something incredibly therapeutic about the Japanese classes conducted by Mizusaki sensei. In short, I make an effort to spend more time on myself because I think I owe it to me.

However, the neurologist appointment remains. I hope the check up will be all clear.

～みはる～

むかつく

There's a newcomer, Z, in the lab whom I have to babysit and whom I'd like to clobber.
In just two days, Z managed to severely irritate a good-natured resident (yours sincerely) with a smart-alecky attitude and long-winded speeches.

I wish Z would just shut the hell up and listen to what I have to convey before interjecting me at every 5 seconds with her great knowledge. And learn to take a hint when I'm not receptive to her damn long stories. Some of us have lots of work and are very busy, okay?

Argh, I need to let off steam.

On a side note, will be busy preparing for JLPT Level 2.
The amount of vocabulary and grammar to memorize is just insane!!!

～みはる～

New Kid On The Block

We've got Garfield checking in to our cat shelter.

Siren has been missing for several months now, and according to Mum, she's mostly like drowned in the monsoon drain. I'd think she eloped with the tomcat from the adjacent lane though.

But this new kitten has a special coat. I've never seen a stray that is orange. Very reminiscent of Garfield. I wonder if it indulges in lasagna too.

Although it's kinda nice knowing there's another 'pet' hanging around, it can't seem to really replace the affection we had for Siren. She's like... a first love. Adopted at infancy and watching her grow into adulthood, it's like nurturing a seedling with affection and care. And there's a kind of loneliness and sadness when she's gone (eloping with some tomcat!!)

I supposed that's why I never want to keep pets. I've got a bad case of Empty Nest Syndrome.

～みはる～

Strange

Had a couple of strange incidences lately.

• Got hit on by a chirologist.

Was trawling a health bazaar in campus with my colleagues, YN and LB, when we passed by a stall with this really HUGE palm banner peppered with testimonials in all possible languages. As my colleagues pressed me to read a Japanese article hanging from the banner, the chirologist uncle, who was till then sitting languidly with no customers to serve, snapped his head around and asked to see 'the fish' in our palms. As if to convince us, he held out his palm and pointed knowingly to a Stickman-sketch of, what we were told to believe is, a fish. Really, it's just lines on the palm that so happen to criss-cross to give the man an illusion of a flipper.

As he scrutinized our palms, he confidently threw us into default categories with his diagnoses.

To YN, "You are a very efficient and strong-willed person. Your boss won't sack you, you will sack your boss."
YN stared at him, both incredulous and amused.

Turned to LB and said, "You are a dreamer. And will have problems with your relationship."
LB looked undecidedly wary and bemused.

Finally he took my palm and said, "You know how to enjoy life. And you are highly adaptable. Yes, you are adaptable." He nodded.
I stared at him, looked at my palm, and then back up at him.

At that point, a customer called out to him and he disappeared back to his stall, leaving the three of us staring after him, unsure whether he was for real.

Maybe he was just 'fishing' business afterall.

• No olives.

It baffles me to no end the quality of service at certain fast food outlets.
I was putting my order at a sandwich bar, where you can ask for your preferred bread and fillings. So, when I got to the 'filling' section, this was what transpired:

Me: All vege, but no onions, more lettuce.
Sandwich lady: Okay, no onions, no lettuce.
Me: No, no, no! No on-ions, more let-tuce.
Sandwich lady: Okay, no onions, no olives.
Me: .....

For your information, we were standing only about an arm's apart.

I want olives with my sandwich!!!


The world has gotten so strange.

～みはる～

Beijing Olympics 2008

The 29th Beijing Olympics opened at 2008-08-08, 8.08pm.

Honestly?
I don't really care.

My athletic-sense is zero and I never held interest in sports longer than the Omega advertisement on TV. Especially in an international sporting event tainted with politics and pollution.

However, I get caught in the tide. Very easily.
With the olympian fervor going on, it's difficult not to get excited about the Games. Especially when your country has a good shot at winning a gold medal; and the unbelievable record-breaking trails.

So I watched the Opening Ceremony. Impressed, I was. The fireworks especially. And the performances were pretty cool. Except that I personally think that the use of humongous number of performers was akin to an overzealous hammering of the notion that the host have people power. Literally. "Don't mess with me, I can outnumber you in a blink."

But I digress.

Nonetheless, I was awed by the show. Had new found respect for the country that has been struggling so hard to prove herself in the eyes of the world.

Until news came pouring that the glossy performance was rigged with piracy.

Fake child songbird on stage.

Fake fireworks.

Fake ethnic child performers.

I do not particularly care about the latter two piracies, but the first really disgusts me. Had a pretty girl to fake the performance simply because the original talent had no looks deemed suitable to be on stage? What kind of message are they trying to send across in a G-rated international event?

The opening ceremony aside, competitions thus far had been amazing. In that we are witnessing some really marvelous sportsmen and sportswomen. However, it's swimmer Michael Phelps of USA who had grabbed the thunder of the Beijing Olympics 2008.

Phelps, the new God of the Pool

Golds in all 8 swimming events he participated, of which 7 were world record-breaking, and 1 by 1/100 second victory; giving him a total of 14 Olympic golds. This is the new history.

Not to be outdone, Kitajima Kousuke of Japan emerged as the Asian superstar in the pool, with 2 golds, in what I understand was a performance Asians were very proud of.

Pride of Asia in the Pool

Closer to home, Malaysia managed to enlist into the finals of badminton men's singles via Lee Chong Wei's brilliant performance. Thanks to him, Malaysians were given an opportunity to be hopeful and to be proud of in the international arena. He pushed his way into the finals, and like many Malaysians in the motherland and all over the world, I eagerly followed the finals match. How can I be not excited, when the athlete from my homestate is playing for gold in the Olympics. The catch, however, is that he has to play against the person seeded above him: Lin Dan of China.

So, I started off ambitious.
Slam the top seed in his home ground and bring us our first gold.
Maybe not so harsh.
Just bring us our first gold.
But Lin Dan is a great player and not ranked top seed for nothing.
Okay, play 3 games and win 2 with slim majority.
Lin Dan had been playing pretty effortlessly so far.
Fine, silver medal, but play 3 games. 21-18, 18-21, 20-21.
Alright, silver with 2 games still okay. 18-21, 20-21.

Ultimately, we lost 2 games: 12-21, 8-21.

I had wanted that look in the finals

Pretty disappointed that it wasn't a good game at all. Lee Chong Wei made a lot of errors, the most vexing one being the gold medal point: Lin Dan got it free due to his mistake. Sien. Lee Chong Wei didn't appear to be in top form, but to be fair, Lin Dan was really good. He simply outclassed Chong Wei. The smashes were evil. And during the first game, he had Chong Wei running all over the court whilst he appeared to barely break a sweat running.

Oh well, a silver is better than none. Thank you, Chong Wei.
At least, he made it to the final game.

Thus it appears while my athletic-sense is zilch, I do still enjoy watching sports. Heeh.

～みはる～

Disclaimer: None of the images are mine. All were google-d.

Tokyo mode

Tokyo mode (Tou.Kio. Mou.D)
Meaning: Fast-paced activities occurring continuously with no break over 24/7.
Synonym: Damn busy.

-Source: MiharuDictionary.com-


I've been in Tokyo mode lately.
It's like, I wake up early in the morning and do stuff, and do stuff, and do stuff, and bam! The day is over, time to sleep. And then the cycle repeats. Where did my whole day go?
This is what my typical week's like:

Monday
Grow bacteria. Cook dinner. Japanese homework (i.e. Code Geass).
Tuesday
Grow more bacteria. Practise violin. Japanese homework (i.e. Vampire Knight).
Wednesday
Grow that damn bacteria. Cook dinner. Practise violin. Japanese homework (i.e. real JLPT2 homework).
Thursday
Would the stupid bacteria please grow already?! Practise violin. Japanese homework (more JLPT2 questions)
Friday
Kill bacteria. Practise violin. (more) Japanese homework.
Saturday
Grocery shopping. Practise violin. Violin class. Kill more bacteria. Cook dinner. Japanese homework.
Sunday
Travel to city. Japanese class. Lunch. Wait 5hrs. Japanese JLPT2 class. Dinner. Travel back. Conk out.
Monday
... it's Monday AGAIN?!


It's not like I'd complain being occupied all the time. I actually love being occupied all day long. It's just that it's so... Tokyo mode. So damn busy.

Therefore, I'll just do highlights to the nice (or not) things that happened recently.

• Japanese class

(Okay, Japanese things are always nice to me :P)
After a month of waiting, there's finally vacancy to the last level of Pre-advanced Japanese class for me.

It's high time that I re-attend the classes before my Nihongo goes rusty again. Since it's one of the higher level classes, the class is naturally conducted by the most senior Sensei in school, MZ-sensei. Now, I've seen anxiety in the face of my former classmates when they saw MZ-sensei, and I thought she must be a very scary person. But in my first lesson with MZ-sensei, I find her VERY interesting. Military-style training conducted with an out-of-world wacky sense of humor. She tells tall stories with such seriousness and humor that newbies like me spend half the time deciding whether her stories are lies or not. (It appears her jaded students can easily decipher her fake stories from true ones....)

Then again, MZ-sensei is stricter than other teachers, so it'll be a lie to say it's a stress-free lesson. And thanks to my enthusiasm, I've landed myself in a double-dose of MZ-sensei per day by enrolling in the JLPT2 (Japanese Language Proficiency Test 2) prep class that takes place in the later part of the same day. This prep class is far more demanding than the regular Japanese lesson, as MZ-sensei speeds through the required syllabus in 1.5 hours. In ONE breath. By the end of the day, I'd be totally drained of mental energy. Tired, but happy to be learning.

MZ-sensei, 楽しいレッソンをありがとう！

• Work

There's nothing nice about work because my prima donna bacteria is not growing properly. Prima donna, that prokarytic existence!! As my boss would describe, "It needs precarious coddling, and it's moody."

What does it think it is? Royal princess??!

... unfortunately, it is. TT_TT

• Surprise visit

Mum and Dad came over last weekend for a surprise visit!
So glad to have them here, because I've been missing home lots. Since I've used up all my annual leave and can't go home, Mum and Dad brought home to me. Figuratively. Didn't do much, but spent all the time lazying around in the hotel room as a family. Listening to cat stories. Apparently Siren, the stray pet, has reached the rebellious age.

Best weekend ever.
Thank you, Mum and Dad!

• New phone

I've got a Nokia 6500 slide for $0.
I love the fact I got a $188-worth phone for free.

Thanks Sis for recontracting so that I can get that free phone. Muaks!

• Socializing

Watched 'KungFu Panda' with AM and co. a few weeks ago. Went for the company, not the movie particularly. The movie was nothing to shout about; although funny here and there, the story was terribly lame and predictable. But hey, what can you expect of a children's cartoon? Nevertheless, the company was great as it had been sometime since we last got together, catching up.

And then, sometime last week, my lab had a dinner outing to celebrate our boss's birthday. We had a very filling seafood dinner, complete with black pepper(!) crab. The food was nothing to rave about (I've had better seafood back in hometown), but the company was fun. After stuffing ourselves, we had some girl talk, before the two attachment students in our lab lured us all serious scientists into REALLY lame games. It was absolutely hilarious watching my serious colleagues trying to follow the game, in all it's lame-ness. We spent like half the night lame-ing.

• Violin

I had long realized my pinky is shorter than most normal people, and in practising my exam pieces, I've finally experienced the difficulty of having a stunted pinky. But, I'm practising hard. And I love the songs! Especially Moon River from Breakfast At Tiffany's. The dreamy quality is difficult to express, but so nice to listen to.... my tutor playing it.

がんばります！


Although frenzied, Tokyo mode is not all that bad afterall, considering the vibrancy and enjoyment it brings.

まぁ、こんなモンかな、人生は。

～みはる～

The Beauty of Beethoven

Went to the final SSO concert for the 07/08 season last Friday.

Themed 'The Beauty of Beethoven', it was a gala concert featuring violinist Leila Josefowicz and conductor Maestro Eri Klas.

Repertoire:

• The Creatures of Prometheus: Overture, Op.43
• Violin Concerto in D Major, Op.61
• Symphony No.7 in A Major, Op.92

Actually, I went for the symphony. I'm not sure whether it was because I was sitting a little far from the stage or it was the flaw in their performance, but I find that I enjoyed Brahm's Symphony No.1 in the previous concert much more than this Beethoven's 7th. The first movement was paced a little too slow for my liking. However, I liked the 2nd and 4th movements: the expression, dynamics and speed were just right.

The first song, The Creatures of Prometheus, was surprisingly enjoyable although a little short. Leila Josefowicz solo-ed the violin concerto, and throughout her performance, only 2 things roll in my head: technique and violin. Her technique was near-perfect and precise, thus every note was clearly and beautifully delivered. And Leila owns a damn good violin. When she played, the most beautiful sound rang in the concert hall. You can tell that is one very well made antique. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy this piece too much, because I find it rather bland in expression and in true blue Beethoven style, the same pattern is repeated way too many times. Before long, I could almost tell when a passage is going to be repeated. However, Leila graciously obliged us an encore, where she played a series of high technique passages.

While it was a lovely concert, I didn't enjoy it as much probably because I was pretty tired from work. I had been up since early morning, and it was rather tiring after a long day.

This would probably be my last orchestra concert for some time. Living expenses had skyrocketed lately, and my student salary is taking a big hit, so I'll most likely lay off such luxuries for a while.

～みはる～

Liberation

Finally came the day, I was liberated from academic examinations for LIFE.

I passed all my coursework requirement for PhD candidature! Wai~~!

Merely passed the core module by the skin of my teeth though. If they had given me a B- instead of a B+, I would be whimpering in a corner right now.
And now, one Confirmation Seminar and another PhD oral defense, and I can kiss my student status goodbye... for LIFE.

～みはる～

M200

I'm poorer by one-month's salary.

Toshie, my new lappie.

Due to the demise of my old laptop, I had gone shopping for a new one, and ended up with a Toshiba M200. This one's got specs a little high for me, but will do for the next four years. The promotional package justified the price, but it still cost me dearly T_T And the Vista is so annoying.

But other than that, I'm glad to have a computer again. In my deprivation of a laptop I have come to realize what a Gen-X youth I have become. Not a good sign.

トシエ、これからよろしくね。

～みはる～

Hiatus

The surgeon in Acer just issued a death certificate to my 4-year-old laptop.

Will be away till I finished mourning over my cyber loss and get another replacement.

The Stray Pet

Was on hiatus... and visiting the stray pet cat I adopted 5 months ago.

Siren in rumination.

Siren, the stray kitten who sought salvation from my house last Christmas, is now a small helpless kitten no more. She has at least tripled in size, and even more in her darlingness. She loves hanging around my parents, who had been feeding her fishies and entertaining her affectionate meows. She even lent her paws helping Dad put up wire mesh at the front grills meant to prevent her from slinking into the house. How sweet.

"I lent you my paws for a fish dinner in return. Meow."

All the time I was home, Siren often spend her entire day sleeping at various spots in our porch. In fact, she has found several favorite snuggle points, much to her hosts' chagrin. Her absolute favorite being the comfy IKEA sofa that was meant to be Mum's coffee spot. It had became, in Mum's words: "her first class seat".

She battled her way into the 1st class suite despite the plastic hindrance.

Her other napping spots include under the shade of Mum's car and behind Sis's bicycle wheel. Grandma wasn't too please with her taking over the porch so Siren often got sprayed (with water) out of the porch by Grandma T_T

However Siren did spend a good load of time napping in our compound, so Sis stashed out the DSLR and started clicking away to capture the kitten cuteness before Siren becomes a fat grown cat.

My favorite lazy-cat pose.

Taking ownership of everything in the porch, even the clothes hanger.

Act-cute pose.

She yawns like a tiger cub.

Weird cleaning position. Don't ask me where she cleaned.

All rejuvenated after a freaking long nap on her makeshift 1st class suite.

While we are not a pet-keeping type of family, Siren nevertheless stole our attention with her affectionate meowings and kawaii-ness. She particularly loves being around Mum, don't know why, but when Mum's in the porch, she would roll on her belly on the floor, meowing affectionately, as if asking to play.

It is sad for her though, being all alone again after all her 4 siblings disappeared (died or kidnapped or eaten, we don't know). We just hope that she won't die an early cat death and will learn to live a long street life. Ganbatte, Siren.

～みはる～

OCE

I'm suspecting myself of having an advanced stage of 'Obsessive compulsive examinomania (OCE)'.
It's a type of sickness characterized by endless (maniac maybe) pursuit for challenge and examinations, typically manifested by overstimulation of brain receptors for cognitive and limbic response to a steady-state condition termed 'examination'.

なんてね。

Don't know what got into me but in the span of a week, I committed myself to 2009 Violin ABRSM Grade 2 exam and 2008 JLPT (Pre-Advance) Level 2 exam. This is on top of my PhD confirmation exam at the end of this year.

And I'm here mimicking a pharmacist-wanna-be, memorizing a gazillion drug names for my Pharmacology exam the day after tomorrow.

But I haven't come across any drug for treatment of acute OCE. Anyone got a cure?

～みはる～

できた！

1000-piece puzzle in less than a week pieced by 2 crazy people (moi dragged her sister into the mania).

A millennium-old sakura tree in Okayama-ken, Maniwa-shi.

I now look at tree branches in a different perspective.

～みはる～