Doctor of Philosophy

I am pleased to inform you that you have been offered admission to research programme in our University.

I am pleased to inform you that you have been awarded the Research Scholarship.


These two back-to-back statements on the letter from the Graduate Studies Office hit me on the head like bricks from the wall. I'm still finding it difficult to swallow.


I'm offered money to study for doctorate.
*still no feeling*

Now, am I supposed to be jumping around happily? I think I should. But I'm not.
It's so weird. I really want to do PhD. Some four years later, I will have the chance to graduate with a title 'Dr.' It's like fulfilling the dream of being called a 'Dr.' since I left my ambition of pursuing a medical degree to be called a REAL doctor.

I enjoy learning and research work. But why can't I find the excitement of gaining admission right now?

Is it that I've been drained of all emotional energy with all the FYP madness that has yet to end? (It's ending tomorrow)
Is it that it's not a research programme overseas?
Is it the familiarity of the university that makes me feel unexcited?
Is it that I'm still undecided between continuing education and launching a career?
Is it that I'm not prepared?
Should I still apply for Research Programmes else where? I'm still like, in the midst of applying for the scholarship for research in Japan. (I want a sakura-filled campus!!)

What should I do?

～みはる～