First, as per my annual ritual, had to uproot....again. Landlords were moving back here and wanted to reclaim their house. Although it should not be new by now, had to call numerous agents (I stopped remembering their names already, just went by the district and block number of the apartment units they offered) and schedule viewing appointments, bla bla bla. However, there was a deeper problem under these routine stuff we (as housemates) were facing - there wasn't an explicitly unanimous decision on the location of the new unit, or even the housemate arrangement. This was further muddied by other side issues, and to summarize, things got slightly unpretty at one point and it ended with us going on separate ways.
On one hand, it was rather difficult for me because that move was as good as walking out on a partnership all of us have built for a couple of years now. But on the other hand, I really needed to walk out and move on; it was liberating to throw out excess baggage. It was hardly easy, but I mustered enough strength to turn my back and walk towards a brighter place; although I wished it didn't end with such sour aftertaste.
I do thank my former housemates for the lessons and experiences they gave me. It is priceless. But I'm glad to have moved on.
Second, I think I have been on an eventful emotional rollercoaster ride for more than a year now. Oh wait, I'm always on a rollercoaster ride. What's different this time, is that I took a proactive role in dissecting my problem and implementing solutions. Over the 12 months or so, I read really insightful books, listened to great people speak, had meaningful conversations, meet admirable individuals... I made effort to pay attention to lessons that I can and have to learn from each of these encounters. I was (and still is) constantly on self-reflection. I felt the importance of connecting with people, directly or indirectly. I was reassured of my capabilities, my potential, and my motive to be as enduringly compassionate as I can be. This was particularly important to me, because I find it difficult to champion compassion in a cynical community. It was enormously reassuring to know that some great people share my ideals. Thanks to this healthy progress of personal development, I am now discovering and (perhaps) attempting to realize my purpose on this little planet called Earth.
It does feel good to have focus in life.
Apart from that, I have been kept busy with a vacation in Europe (yes, a 2nd under a year. They say good stuff comes in 3s... when's my 3rd trip to Europe coming??!), scientific collaboration with a Canadian veteran scientist, catching up with old friends, awesome music concerts, chillout sessions,movies... it's been great since I stopped looking the proverbial glass as half empty and view it as half full.
I'm blessed!
～みはる～
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