Embodiment of a beautiful illusion?

> Business plan writing. Squeezing brain juices to the max.
> Part-time job. 9-5, 5-days a week.
> No room = no internet connection.
> Mum & Dad came for a visit. Endless shopping and indulgence in good food.
> Quit squatting in J’s room, moved to a temporary room and then to a rented unit within a span of 14 days.
> The new academic term began. Timetable scheduling madness.
> The first day of school. Assignment and presentation avalanche. Presentation slots scheduling madness.
> Presentation and assignments begins. Journal-searching-cum-reading mania.

…are the reasons to my blogging absence. It has been such a busy month.

Now that I’ve stepped into my final studying term, I feel like….. yelling. 7 examinable subjects to read over a duration of 13 weeks. And the 5 compulsory core prescribe electives are madness. Each elective demands at the very least, a scientific paper presentation, tonnes of written assignments, quizzes, team discussions… AND GAZILLIONS OF SCIENTIFIC PAPERS TO READ!!!!! I’ve been reading so much journals and scientific papers to the very extent I’m now numbed reading them. It seems like there is an inverse linear correlation between the number of papers read with the awe you have for the discovery reported. The more I read, the less enthusiastic I become of their brilliance.

The avalanche of group presentations and assignments meant increased frequency of working in groups (duh). This translates managing inter-personal relations to achieve the goal of task completion. Although Week3 has just ended, I have already accumulated enough emotional negativity. I learnt that in the harsh reality, friends are not real. There’s no such thing as true friends. No such thing as loyal friendship. Those are simply embodiment of a beautiful illusion. When you are cornered to the edge of the cliff, no friend will take the fall for you. Human are selfish creatures. They act on their natural instincts to protect their best interests above all else. I have seen plentiful emotional and material selfishness to numb my senses. And I have seen enough to know that in reality, you can only depend on yourself. No matter how deep the friendship runs, it can never be true.

～みはる～