The Road Less Travelled

There once lived an American poet who wrote a poem that gave much to think about:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost (1874-1963)

And I wondered if it was an homage to the value of courage and curiosity when M. Scott Peck opted the book title 'The Road Less Travelled' for his writing 32 years ago.

Of the many books I've read, I think this is a rather unique one in terms of the response it evoked amongst readers. I was recommended to this brilliant writing by my friend, WW, whom I must really thank for sharing it with me. I would guess that WW found the ideas in the book insightful and thinking it would benefit me, recommended that I take time to read it. And I did. And because I found the ideas truly thought-provoking, I gifted it to another friend of mine, whom I believe will benefit from it. And she did. And she in turn gifted it to another friend of hers, whom she thought desperately needs the insights of the book. And he did. Believe it or not, my friend WW picked it up as a recommendation from her friend.

I think this continuous cycle of recommendation is a convincing testimony of how enormously helpful the ideas in this book are.

I believe the book appeals to many because it discusses a central theme we all share: life is a series of problems. Life is difficult because confronting and solving problems (depending how severe the problem) can be very painful. And because we fear this painful process, we attempt to avoid confronting problems, which ironically only results in greater pain.

In this book, Scott Peck proposed a rather sound argument to the psychology of our escapism, the discipline-or our lack of- to confront pain and our shortcomings, the fear of challenging our reality maps and belief systems, and the miracle of our unconscious. He also discussed the mystery of love, and I think he argued eloquently the idea of love versus dependency. He articulately defined love as, "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth." An entire section is dedicated to discussion of Love and its myths, misconceptions, and power - all of which I believe most, if not all, of us struggle with at certain points in our lives. Here's to give a very brief idea what he thinks love is and is not:

• Love is a strangely circular, evolutionary process.
• Love includes self-love with love for the other.
• Love is effortful, not effortless.
• Love is an act of will; we choose to love. 'Falling in love' is not real love because it is not a conscious choice.
• Dependency and self-sacrifice is not love, but antilove.
• Genuine love is self-replenishing.
• Love is separateness; the distinction between oneself and the other is always maintained and preserved because genuine love respects the unique individuality of the beloved.

The book also discussed the concept of grace, miracles, evil and laziness as the original sin. In essence, it methodologically defines the purpose, motivation, barriers and promises of spiritual growth. And I believe that we could all very well benefit from a deeper understanding of ourselves. I personally felt the book was not easy to read because it evokes a lot of self-examination (which most of us would prefer to conveniently avoid) and critical dissection of the beliefs I hold true thus far. Can you imagine coming to the realization all that you think is true and best, is not? At the same time, it is also comforting to know some of my thoughts and questions were affirmed on print by an experienced psychiatrist. It somehow makes the journey down the road less travelled less alone.

I felt compelled to blog on this book because I believe it had been a comfort to the few lives I know who've read it. And I wish to extend this recommendation to everyone with an interest or curiosity in spiritual growth. I believe when we've gained greater insight of ourselves and of life, it becomes easier for us to understand the pains of other people and be compassionate to them. And I think from there, we will be able to call out great courage from within ourselves to take the road less travelled.

So, do go ahead, pick it up and enjoy a good reading =)

～みはる～