Lazy Saturday

Today's a one-day breather from my tightly packed schedule stretched over these two weeks. I've been juggling classes, seminars, planning and executing complex experiments, data analyses, and social life in a manner I could only best describe as phrenetic. Monday saw me running from lab to office to class to cafeteria to office again to lab again. I've even broke my personal record for staying back working past midnight and spreading some 200++ agar plates with a colleague in a neck-breaking speed of 100 plates/hour. The massive data collected demanded analyses on the day after, as I run from lab to office to class to lab again. As the analyses were going on, another massive experiment planning was underway.

Although it had been a very busy week, it had been fun because I get to work closely with my colleagues and learnt many new things. I get to understand the joy of team-working, the frustrations of managing task delegation, the emotional implications of working with people coming from different training and background. I also get to brush up my techinques with the equipments I was not so familiar with, and appreciate the pains of preparing for a humongous experiment and the analyses that follows.

In fact, the mother of all experiments will commence tomorrow. This experiment is so large scale it involves the entire lab and several days of prior preparation. We made agar plates in thousands, and prepared tubes in thousands. I've never made so much agar or aliquoted so many tubes a day in my life! For the entire day, everyone in the lab was efficiently manouvering back and forth the lab and the autoclave room mixing agar, sterilizing agar, pouring agar, drying agar, packing agar. Nevertheless, I find the scale of the experiment exciting and am really looking forward to (another tiring but fun) next week.

Although I had been very occupied with my work, I tried to make time for socializing with my friends. Somehow, after graduation, meeting them (university mates) was not as easy as before, and it seems to take a little more effort to keep in touch with them. Probably it had been that way, but I didn't feel the impact of it until my previous housemates and I started living apart. Previously, they will somehow be just in the next room, or in the kitchen, or simply just in the house. Now that we no longer live together, we can only see each other in the weekends, when we are not occupied with work or other things. The same goes to my coursemates. No longer are there the days we see each other in class or grab lunch together. When the emptiness encroahes, it makes me feel quite sad and lonely because it makes acquaintance seem so superficial. Out of sight, out of mind..kind of thing.

Last weekend, a friend had organized an alumnus gathering, and I was glad to have attended it. I get to meet with friends I have not seen for a long time, and had a great talk with friends I had so enjoyed their company all these while. It served to remind me that I still have ties with many people whom I have not been keeping in touch with. It makes me realize that I should put aside time to meet with with them once in a while, no matter how busy I would become. Because being with friends makes me feel like I have life apart from work. Which is why, tonight I'll be going to Natsu Matsuri with Shiyun-san!!

So excuse me while I soak in the remaining of my lazy Saturday....

～みはる～

Musings

Humility is the path to understanding.

Understanding is the root of compassion.

Compassion is the source of peace.

Peace perpetuates love.

Love grants us the joy of living.

～みはる～

Spitz - Robinson

I can never quite understand how certain songs have titles that are never mentioned in the lyrics of the song itself. Think Iris by Goo Goo Dolls.

Of late, I've been addicted to songs by Spitz and I find one song particularly nice. It's named "Robinson" from their 1995 Honey album. When I read the lyrics, nowhere did the title name "Robinson" appear throughout the whole song. In fact, I don't know how "Robinson" is related to the meaning of the song, or what "Robinson" means at all. You can read the kanji and tell me. In the meantime, the song's on repeat mode in my playlist.

ロビンソン
(Robinson)

新しい季節は　なぜかせつない日々で
かわらの道を自転車で　走る君を追い変えた
思い出のレコードと大げさなエピソードを
疲れた方にぶら下げて　しかめ面まぶしそうに

同じセリフ同じ時　思わず口にするような
ありふれたこの魔法で　作り上げたよう

誰も触れない　二人だけの国
君の手を離さぬように
大きな力で　空に浮かべたら
ルララ宇宙の風に乗る

片隅に捨てられて　呼吸をやめない猫も
どこか似ている　抱き上げて　無理やりにほほ寄せるよ
いつもの交差点で　見上げた丸い窓は
うすよごれてる　ぎりぎりの　みかずきも僕を見てた

待ち伏せた夢のほとり　驚いた君の瞳
そして僕ら今ここで　生まれ変わるよ

誰も触れない　二人だけの国
終わらない歌ばら撒いて
大きな力で　空に浮かべたら
ルララ宇宙の風に乗る

大きな力で　空に浮かべたら
ルララ宇宙の風に乗る
ルララ宇宙の風に乗る

Romaji here

～みはる～

In breve

Gomen. I know I've been not blogging for a looong time.
Two excuses: (i) very lazy, and (ii) very busy.

The latter is hardly an excuse... it's a fact. Anyway, lots of things had happened, and I can't possibly detail them in one post, so I'll take the short cut and do it in breve.

• Transformers The Movie

I'm hardly a cinema person. The number of times I've stepped into a cinema in my entire life has got to be less than 20. But when I was back home for vacation, I could not resist paying the few bucks to watch Transformers The Movie. And I did not regret it. One of the greatest action movie I've seen. And, oh, the nostalgia. Watching the movie transported me back to my childhood days of Transformers the cartoon, Thundercats, Smurfs etc. Now where is my Optimus Prime toy figure....

• Pre-PhD break

My two week holiday in my hometown was the last of my break before commencing my PhD studies. It had been a terribly short, but enjoyable time..... slacking and eating. Come to think about it, I always eat alot when going back home. This time though, we made a weekend trip to KL and stayed in a 5-star hotel at corporate rate and stuffed ourselves mad with good food at every meal. Can't tell you how much I enjoy eating, shopping, and lounging in such luxurious setting for the weekend. Thanks to Mum and her dunno-wat-it's-called membership card.

Since it's the last break before PhD (no term break okay!) commences, I made a point to satisfy my culinary desires to the maximum. Fluffy eggs tarts and exquisite dim sum from Golden Phoenix, Hokkien Mee and Laksa from Pulau Tikus, Spaghetti Aglia Olio from Dome, Korokke from Kirishima, Bak Hu Roti from Uncle at the padang, Yellow-Skin durians from Balik Pulau Ah Pek, Roti Canai from Bt Jambul... I probably ate 4 years' worth of Penang food in two weeks. Once research starts, there'll be hardly time for going home and dig in culinary heaven.

• PhD

After one month of scouting around for supervisors and projects, I finally made a very difficult decision to return to the lab I was attached for my thesis project. There were alot of factors which I painfully mulled over in choosing a lab for my PhD, but in the end, I decided to work with people I felt would be most enjoyable working with. It was a relief to be released from the heavy-duty decision-making and thinking, and I made a promise to myself that once I had made my decision, I will never look back and will put all my effort to make this coming 4 years an enriching experience.

I was pleasantly welcomed to the lab, because my supervisor was very enthusiastic to have me on board, and all the staff in the lab were equally as warm. On the week I returned to the lab, we had a small party after a meeting to (in parallel) celebrate a colleague's birthday, welcome a new staff and myself to the lab, and to send off two attachment students who will be terminating their internship in the lab. It was really fun, chortling and laughing, and I totally felt at home in the lab.

• Head-hunted

I would be lying if I said I did not feel a teeny weeny bit unsure or insecure about my decision to do PhD, but an incident last week erased every remnant of this insecurity. It was on an evening approximately 1.5 weeks after I went back to doing lab work.

I was doing data analysis on my computer when my phone rang, and when I answered the call, to my great surprise, it was from the HR of a multinational company. The manager had received my CV from the university and was inclined to recruit me into their company. She first gave a brief promotion about the company and the benefits, i.e. competitive salary and positions, and then asked whether I'm already attached to a company. When I told her I am continuing my postgraduate studies, she sounded surprise, and then instinctively asked, "Masters?.." I said, "No, doctoral," and could literally hear her gasp in astonishment. I was like, 'okay... what's so weird about it'. But it seems she was impressed with my direct-PhD-from-Bachelor programme, and was even more impressed when she found out I was sponsored to do this PhD programme. I didn't think this was all that impressive: considering many Bachelors can do direct PhD and most, if not all, the graduate students in my school are sponsored to do PhD. It is nothing out of ordinary, but it seemed people from the industry like her find it otherwise.

Then it occured to me, hey, PhD is a great choice afterall! I'm doing what I like to do, and people from the industry are actually finding it impressive. So maybe that can be a good selling point upon graduation? Hmmm. After a little talk, she told me to give them a call after graduation, and I went like, 'whoa, can k.i.v. so long one ah?'. But it's kinda nice to know that there is a great value in doing PhD now, and it actually makes me feel glad and proud to be doing PhD now.

• Loan-sharker and loan-sharkee

I didn't know my neighbours owed loan shark money. A few days ago, I was in my room doing data analysis (again) when I heard a voice talking over the phone outside my room in the corridor. I peered out and to my shock, there's a fully armed policeman patrolling the corridor at my door front, all the while talking into his cellphone. I freaked out, afraid that this is one bogus cop with a real gun and ready to attack me outside my door. But he was just patrolling up and down, so I thought maybe some neighbours had complaints and stuff.

But he patrolled for some time, and I became pretty scared, so I ran to the living room to shut all doors and windows. After a while, I heard more voices, but they stopped after my neighbour returned. When my housemate came back, I informed him about the patrolling police and he said it likely our neighbour owed loan shark money. I didn't believe him until he showed me the graffiti on the wall of the stairwell next to our apartment. It has the name of our neighbour scribbled in purple chalk, along with his house unit number, phone number and a demand for money back. My face paled upon seeing such graffiti for the first time. I've only seen such things on newspaper reports and dramas.... never expected it to be outside my room wall.

• Orchestra concert

Thanks to my university sponsoring a symphonic performance, I have a little orchestra madness lately. Last Friday, the Sg Symphonic Orchestra (SSO) was invited to perform in our auditorium, and I took the chance to experience my first live orchestra concert. Admission was free, and the best part is they had a line-up of songs I would love to listen:

Tchaikovsky's Romeo & Juliet: Fantasy Overture
Sarasate's Carmen's Fantasy (violin solo by a very talented violinist)
Alfven's Midsummer's Vigil

I was very excited about watching the orchestra, and very receptive of symphonic music too, thanks to the influence of Nodame Cantabile drama. And boy, did I enjoyed the performance. It was superb. In the auditorium, it's like watching Nodame Cantabile live. The orchestra was fantastic and watching the conductor, it was something like watching Tamaki Hiroshi doing the conducting scene, although this conductor is the real deal of course. I loved every song they played, especially Sarasate's Carmen Fantasy. The violin solo was captivating.

This led me to enthusiastically inviting friends to watch their next act on Sunday, in the Botanic Gardens. In the end, I towed WW, CS and my sister to the Botanic Gardens to listen to classical music in the park. It's my first outdoor classical concert experience, and although I could complain alot about the sound quality (it's bad acoustics without the auditorium walls!), it was nevertheless enjoyable. Of course, such enjoyment did not come without the pains of getting to the park itself. I have never been to the Botanic Gardens, let alone knowing how to get there. In the end, WW and I got lost after taking public transportation based on the streetdirectory.com recommendations, where the bus left us in the middle of a very busy highway, and without walking directions to the park. We finally took a taxi into the garden, which was actually just a turning away from the location we flagged the taxi. I didn't know whether the joke was on us or the irritated taxi driver.

• Research life

I have been very busy since Day1 of my return to the lab. My supervisor is now in the writing for paper publishing and since my thesis project was in some (remote) way related, I was made to be included in the paper publishing team. Hence, I've been very busy doing experiments to collect more comprehensive and concrete data, which explains the endless data analysis I had to do over these few weeks. Furthermore, I've been orientating and working with the new post-doc on my official PhD project, which is on a pathogenic bacteria, hence all the starting up work has been taking up my time and energy too. It's like, a month ago, I was basically doing nothing, rotting at home, but now I'm so occupied with work that all I want to do when I reach my room is to fall on bed and sleep. However, I can't help but feel fulfilled having a purpose to look forward to each day and I hope to keep up this positivity for the following years.

Okay, this is the extend I will backlog for today. Hopefully, I will have time to drop in again soon... if I'm not doing data analysis, that is.

～みはる～

Losing streak

I'm on a losing streak. No, it's not like in a race or something. I'm losing expensive possessions.

First, my 10-month-old standing fan decided to terminate its services on a freaking hot July day, leaving me in the sweltering heat and an inch closer to exploding in frustration. The heat was (and still is) terribly unpleasant, and it didn't help that the electrical stores around the vicinity all ran out of stocks due to the maniac shoppers sweeping up all the appliances in the pre-GST hike sale over the weekend. It's the worst timing ever; but my fan died and I had to travel all the way downtown to get a replacement. In the end, I forked out up to $50 to get a new fan and to transport it back to my apartment at the other end of the country. But, it seems, losing the fan wasn't the worst that could happen.

Yesterday morning, I lost my 4-Gigabyte mp3 player to a petty thief. I had taken a 10-hr night bus back to my hometown, and upon reaching the bus terminal, I was still asleep. Jolted awake from the glaring lights, I groggily and hurriedly gathered my blanket and bag and alighted the bus without checking my seat. As I walked away from the bus, I saw a male passenger (from my bus) glancing at my direction, but did not think too much about it. Until I was approximately 15m away from the bus, I realized I had left my mp3 player on my seat. At that moment, I became very frantic (and WIDE awake) and started running back to the bus to retrieve it. Much to my horror, it was no longer on my seat. I started searching the bus frantically, but it just wasn't there!! Which is not possible IF no one had taken it!! I became terribly upset as the bus driver told me probably the last passenger had taken it. As the second last person to alight the bus, I recalled the last person to get off was the man who had glance in my direction when I walked away. Getting off the bus, I scanned the bus terminal frantically for the man, but he was gone! I ran up to the bus counter to check if he had dropped it in the lost and found, but there was none! That guy had stolen my player! And he knew it was my possession because he saw me leaving the bus and the player on my seat. And he just stole it! The thought that he intentionally stole it and did not return the player to me when he so obviously could have upset me so much I started sobbing. How could someone be so mean?????? It's a shame a fellow Malaysian had stooped so low!

I wasn't that upset about losing the player, but rather all the files inside the player. And it really angered me that such petty, shallow and uncivilized individual existed. For stealing something so important to me, I hope he rots in hell.

That b*****d ruined homecoming day.

～みはる～

Top of the World

I got bitten by the Retro Bug.

Yes, I was watching FRIENDS Season 1: The One With The Blackout, and there's this scene where Phoebe, Monica and Joey were singing to The Carpenters' classic hit, Top of the World. Not only does the song now keep playing on repeat mode in my playlist, I even dig out a few other retro hits by Jim Croce, Whitney Houston and Elton John!

Here's the lyrics to The Carpenters' Top of The World. It is one very successful hit as it topped not only the US and UK music charts, but also four times on Japan's Oricon!!

By the way, did anyone know that Karen Carpenter (the vocalist) died of a condition related to anorexia??

Top of the World
Performed by The Carpenters

Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in 'most ev'ry thing I see
Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now comin' true especially for me
And the reason is clear, it's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Somethin' in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

～みはる～

涙そうそう

I dig inflight entertainment. Especially on long flights. This time around, I managed to sample one really good movie during my flight from Tokyo. It's a Japanese movie released in 2006, entitled, "Nada Sou Sou" (i.e. Tears for You).

I initially had no idea who the lead actor and actress were, who by the way are Tsumabaki Satoshi and Nagasawa Masami respectively. Apparently Tsumabaki came from the Waterboys fame, but I didn't watch Waterboys so I didn't know. Anyway, the point is that I think both of them did a really good job in acting out the complex sibling relationship in Nada Sou Sou. Especially Tsumabaki with his role as Yota. The story is quite appropriately paced and the graphics were especially good, the gorgeous blue sky and the whole Okinawan feel. All these factors combined into a moving story which had me reaching for the tissues, even when I was watching the re-runs!

Nada Sou Sou tells about the deep affection between two not-blood-related siblings, elder brother Yota (Tsumabaki Satoshi) and younger sister Kaoru (Nagasawa Masami). Yota's mother remarried when he was 8, to a carefree trumpeter, who has a 3-yr old daughter from his previous marriage. This new dad apparently isn't very responsible and left the Okinawan paradise for the main island of Kyuushu without any explaination whatsoever (what a jerk). This leaves Kaoru under the care of two people who aren't her blood relatives, but fortunately for her, they loved her just as much. Soon, Yota's mother couldn't take the pain of being dumped by her trumpeter husband and died of some illness. At her deathbed, she made Yota promise her that he would protect Kaoru and take care of her with all his heart. It was a promise Yota took to heart and for the years after his mother's death, Yota was fiercely protective of Kaoru.

However, as they turn into young adults, they began to realize that they meant the world to each other. So much that Kaoru did not simply see Yota as a protective brother anymore, but as an individual whom she truly loves with all her heart. Similarly, while Yota had protected Kaoru all his life as a sister, he soon discovers that she meant the world to him. Yota's sacrifices for Kaoru was very well played out by Tsumabaki. My favorite scene is when Kaoru packed her bags and left their little hut even though she knew well she didn't want to leave. When Yota failed to suppress his tears from her thanking him for his sacrifices, I started to bawl my eyes out.

This is one movie I recommend for great acting, tropical setting and soothing theme song. The song performed at the end of the movie by Natsukawa Rimi, also titled Nada Sou Sou, is an Okinawan folk song so beautiful it lasted in my playlist for weeks. It's one movie I think you should check out, and it's even better if you understand Japanese. The Okinawan slang is pretty endearing!

Nada Sou Sou theme song - 涙そうそう -
Performed by Natsukawa Rimi

古いアルバムめくり　ありがとうってつぶやいた
いつもいつも胸の中　励ましてくれる人よ

晴れ渡る日も　雨の日も　浮かぶあの笑顔
想い出遠くあせても
おもかげ探して　よみがえる日は　涙そうそう

一番星に祈る　それが私のくせになり
夕暮れに見上げる空　心いっぱいあなた探す

悲しみにも　喜びにも　想うあの笑顔
あなたの場所から私が
見えたら　きっといつか　会えると信じ　生きてゆく

晴れ渡る日も　雨の日も　浮かぶあの笑顔
想い出遠くあせても
さみしくて　恋しくて　君への想い　涙そうそう

会いたくて　会いたくて　君への想い　涙そうそう

Official site 涙そうそう
Lyrics from Encyclopedia Knowledge

～みはる～

祈り ～You Raise Me Up

The highly-anticipated opening theme for Gonzo's Romeo x Juliet was released on June 20th 2007.

祈り ～You Raise Me Up
Performed by Lena Park

うるんだ瞳の奥に
変わらぬ君の姿
「どこまで世界は続くの」
途絶えた日々の言葉

凍える嵐の夜も
まだ見ぬ君へ続く
教えて　海渡る風
祈りは時を越える

霞んだ地平の向こうに
眠れる星の挿話
「明けない夜はないよ」と
あの日の罪が笑う

震える君を抱き寄せ
届かぬ虚空を仰ぐ
聴こえる　闇照らす鐘
君へと道は遠く

凍える嵐の夜も
まだ見ぬ君へ続く
教えて　海渡る風
祈りは時を越える

凍える嵐の夜も
まだ見ぬ君へ続く
教えて　海渡る風
祈りは時を越える

祈りは時を越える

Best OP theme of the Spring season, hands down. For some reason, I prefer the Japanese version over the original English version. The Japanese lyrics seemed to fit the music pacing better. Or maybe it's just because the Japanese version is more romantic!

Image from Romeo x Juliet official site.
Lyrics from Gendou

～みはる～

Backlog

Just a backlog to run thru since Poster Day (omigawd, I was on sabbatical that long?!) :

• Poster Day

This final examination went pretty smoothly for me. Getting to the lobby early, all psyched up, standing by my poster, and waiting for the examiners to criticize my poster. Initially, I was more excited than nervous. I mean, it's a novel kind of 'examination' for me, and the whole poster presentation thing has such an air of 'research' I find refreshing from the paper examinations all my education life. That is until my poster neighbours started pacing around nervously and did little mock speeches. However, luck must have been on my side when my first examiner approached my poster, it's Dr. KCG! The tall, pretty, lovely and very nice lady who interviewed me during my PhD application. Seeing her relieved my fraying nerves and I began rattling off about my work as she patiently listens and nodded her head every now and then. In fact, she was so nice to the extent not much questions were asked about my poster.

Having Dr. KCG as my first examiner gave me a little more confidence about my work as I waited for the next examiner. Rumor has it that each of us will get two examiners, so I began wondering who the next one will be. An hour later, I found that he is no other than the plasmid cloning expert in our faculty... Dr. TT. Although Dr. TT is a very nice guy himself, I had a bad premonition because he's bound to be attacking my cloning strategy. Voila! I was right. Throughout my little speech, he quietly listened, nodded his head and made no sound. Which by the way, made me really nervous. After I thanked him for listening, he started bombarding me questions. He didn't gave me much time to think and the questions just kept coming and he appeared not satisfied with my justification of the strategy I adopted. In the end, I didn't want to build an argument with him, who is by far more experienced in cloning than myself, so I took all the bullets, unshielded. T_T

Nevertheless, I was relieved my poster examination was all over and I had the joy of watching my neighbours wrecking their nerves waiting for their examiners. Muahahaha. Well, it wasn't entirely all over for me because another professor came to my poster and started asking questions out of interest. It was a fruitful interaction with him because he is a FACS expert himself, and we exchanged ideas about my FACS data. It was quite funny because my neighbours were still agonizing for their examiners while I had 3 people questioning me already. But it was all fun.

The entire poster exam lasted about 3-4 hours, after which we had a lunch break before commencing the public poster session. Over lunch, me and my classmates exchanged stories of our examinations and who examined whose poster and all the nerve wrecking emotions. Sitting there sharing our stories, I felt a little nostalgic and a little sad... It would probably be the last time we sat together as classmates, having lunch and complaining about school work. Makes me feel like I'm really graduating. Four years ago, we were also sitting together eating lunch and wailing about the difficult tutorials and the mound of homework that never seem to end. Time really flies.

Anyway, the public poster session began after lunch and lasted for another 4 hours, but it took on a more relaxing mode. At least, I went on relax mode. There were people stopping by to scan my poster, but they usually move on pretty quickly as well. Kinda understood, because our works were pretty specialized and focused on a small area, so unless the audience is from the same area of research, it would be pretty much a totally different wavelength. However, I did have several interested 'customers' whom, much to my dismay, were particularly interested in my FACS data (generated within 2 weeks) over my 3-month work on the library. I supposed it can't be helped since the FACS plots looked prettier than bar charts. But one particular guy from the national hospital got really excited about my FACS data and he totally wore me out with his questions and excitement over the dots on the graphs.

Since most members of the public were just browsing, me and my friends took the opportunity to trawl around the lobby, snapping photos for a final piece of undergraduate memory. It was alot of fun catching up with them after cooping in the lab for one whole semester doing the project. By the end of the day, my back and feet hurt from standing the whole day, but I thoroughly enjoyed my final examination. ^_^

My poster #13

The 4 of us stuck together in the same tutorial group for 4 years
(resolution's bad, I know, sorry don't have photo editing tools)

• Sabbatical

After the Poster Day, I basically stopped thinking and just slept long hours (I didn't get to do that alot for the last six months you know). And then my little quarter-life crisis began. I returned to my hometown, then came back to Sg for a symposium jointly organized by the school and RIKEN, after which I immediately went back home again for a holiday in Tokyo (which I will blog separately). After returning from Tokyo, I was still in my crisis and finally came back to Sg to sort out my life and do some shopping (hey, it is the Great Singapore Sale after all). Now I'm still continuing to sort out the remaining stuff and will head back home for another brief sabbatical before returning back here to commence my PhD.

So basically I've been standing still after graduation, but I finally see where I'm about to head for. I'll be convocating this July 23rd, officially bringing my undergraduate days to a close and from there on the wheels of the next part of my life will start to turn (darn... it's starting to sound like Honey & Clover).

Happy Convocation, Class of 2007!

～みはる～

ふっかつ

。。。そう思ったんですけど。

Yes, I've climbed out of my little 'quarter-life crisis' (if it's a crisis at all)...
Yes, I've a backlog of stuff to blog (if I bother at all)...
Yes, this is my fukkatsu (Japanese for resurrection).

Let's see, where should I start.

The cause of this mini 'depression'?
I think it's a common sickness amongst people my age. Where you come to the end of a 'programme' that took 4 years of your human life and are pressed to make the pivotal decision of moving the next piece on Life's Chess Board, which incidentally launches the next 'programme' that would take several more years of your human life before landing you in 'mid-life crisis'. (Come to think of it this way, life really sucks. I mean, there's a crisis every quarter of your life!)

Yes, I was uncertain of what I wanted to do after my Bachelor's.
I've attained a decent degree with decent honours. Yay.
I'm part of the graduating batch with the coveted "Highly-valued, Much-sought-after Graduate" slogan stamped on our foreheads. Yay.
I've no idea what to do after graduation. Yay.

It disturbed me that my peers are jumping enthusiastically into the workforce with (what seemed to me) great ambitions for career and money-making. Don't get me wrong. I think it's great. What I think wasn't so great was why I didn't feel the same. Many of my peers told me they secured jobs even before the final exams or prior graduation. Yea, I'm happy for them. But being around these people gives me the pressure. What, do these people know what they want to do with their life, for life, already? Is there something wrong with me not knowing what I want to do with my life, for life, yet? The next thing you know, day passes by day, and then your peers with secured jobs peer down condescendingly at you and say 'What, you still haven't got a paying job yet?' or 'You still don't know what to do? Tsk tsk'. Before you know, these questions come hitting down on you, 'You're still being paid so low??' or 'You're not married yet??'. Bam!! It's mid-life crisis.

While I think I had overreacted at some point there, all these judgemental mindset depressed me when I already felt utterly lost and empty without such great ambitions. And for those of you who had little bouts of depression before, you'll know that these negative emotions affect literally every other thing that you do daily. I wasn't able to totally relax during my holiday in Tokyo, and even after returning home for a sabbatical, I was still bogged down by the negativity coming from myself and the society I live in. No matter how hard I tried to restrain my frustrations, I became tensed, snap-ish, and my anger easily stoked (in retrospect, I think hormones played a part too. Hmm. Anyway). Sometimes it became so overwhelming I just cried for no reason.

I supposed the first part of my lifeline would be an article in a Sunday newspaper featuring a quirky Lama who's currently preaching back in my country. They wrote about how he used his unconventional approach to preach dharma - which in summary, is about how we affect our lives and the lives of people in contact with us. Taking the lead from the article, I bought a book written by this Lama, Tsem Tulku Rinpoche, which I felt had alot of relevance to my situation: Nothing Changes, Everything Changes. I wouldn't say the book totally changed me into a new person or automatically helped me make life's important decisions, but the book gave a perspective from another standpoint of view. After reading that book, I realized that my being in this depression is not only affecting me but the people around me. So basically, I reeked bad aura that would not help me progress in my life, or my 'quarter-life crisis' for that matter; instead, people are going to dislike the hotwire I've become and my yucky aura will serve nothing but bury me deeper in depression.

So, I muster enough courage to stand up and face the options that I have laid in front of me and did my homework to make the decision of moving my piece in Life's Chess Board. To cut short the pains and sorrow and all unpleasant aura surrounding the decision-making, I've finally resolved to pursue the PhD offer and vow to spread good aura. I will devote myself to making my decision worthwhile and remind myself that whatever crisis that comes in the future, I will take things one at a time and not reek bad aura. I supposed it wasn't easy coming to this stage of enlightenment, so to speak, without the support of the people who had gladly hear me singing my sorrows (metaphorically), especially my FYP mentor and colleagues and supervisor, whom all had made me feel alot better. Their warmth had been the second part of my lifeline.

Although I feel more positive now, I can only say I'm still learning everyday in facing life's trials and tribulations. I tell myself each day that people may judge me, but that just means either they are shallow, or they are giving me a perspective from their standpoint. In the end, I want to make a decision, which in 10 years down the road when I ask myself why I had chosen that decision, that I would be able to answer to myself. It may not have been the best decision, or the happiest path - but it would definitely be something I will never regretted doing.

～みはる～

And the curtain falls

It took me 2 hours to get thru the chaotic campus server to retrieve my final year final semester results.

I've officially graduated with a B.Sc. in Biological Sciences with Honours (2nd Upper).

Satisfied, you ask me? I had thought, for all the effort I gave, the grade was a notch lower than I liked.

Relieved, you ask me? Well... maybe. Knowing I wasn't a potential first class, I had pinned my hopes for a second upper. This class gave me clearance to route towards PhD.

Happy, you ask me? I don't know.

I feel slightly disappointed but relieved, but ultimately... resigned. Because life is to be lived without regrets and we can only look forward. I have given my best, and can only take these experiences with me in my continuing journey.

And so, I now sign off the chapter of my undergraduate life and hope that the next chapter will be just as illustrious.

Parting is such sweet sorrow but the curtains will draw for the next act follows.

～みはる～

Down and out

Currently stuck in what my friend termed a 'quarter-life crisis'.

Will be back blogging once I pull myself out of it.

The Grand Finale

The final act tomorrow: Poster Presentation!!

A full day session of scientific poster presentation for all Final Year Project students in the School lobby. 152 posters on display, showcasing a multitude of life science research in the past 6 months!

It's as exciting as it sounds. This evening we were all at the lobby pinning up our own posters, which didn't take too long (like what, 1 min?), so we trawled the whole lobby, peering at each other's posters, taking photos with our own posters, catching up with each other (it's been ages since I last saw some coursemates!), etc. An amazing display of variety. I'm sure tomorrow will be a blast.

The examining session will take place in the morning tomorrow, as poster examiners view poster by poster, and we have to give a little speech on our work to them. I think it'd be quite nerve wrecking, but I think I might enjoy it as well. When my friend was viewing my poster just now, I was all excited explaining my work to her, although it's not like I had some really impressive conclusions to present.

The open session will be open to public, from 1330-1730. All are welcomed to the lobby of School of Biological Sciences for the Final Act! Come down for a stimulating discussion of life sciences research!

Don't forget moi poster #13 ah.

～みはる～

Doctor of Philosophy

I am pleased to inform you that you have been offered admission to research programme in our University.

I am pleased to inform you that you have been awarded the Research Scholarship.


These two back-to-back statements on the letter from the Graduate Studies Office hit me on the head like bricks from the wall. I'm still finding it difficult to swallow.


I'm offered money to study for doctorate.
*still no feeling*

Now, am I supposed to be jumping around happily? I think I should. But I'm not.
It's so weird. I really want to do PhD. Some four years later, I will have the chance to graduate with a title 'Dr.' It's like fulfilling the dream of being called a 'Dr.' since I left my ambition of pursuing a medical degree to be called a REAL doctor.

I enjoy learning and research work. But why can't I find the excitement of gaining admission right now?

Is it that I've been drained of all emotional energy with all the FYP madness that has yet to end? (It's ending tomorrow)
Is it that it's not a research programme overseas?
Is it the familiarity of the university that makes me feel unexcited?
Is it that I'm still undecided between continuing education and launching a career?
Is it that I'm not prepared?
Should I still apply for Research Programmes else where? I'm still like, in the midst of applying for the scholarship for research in Japan. (I want a sakura-filled campus!!)

What should I do?

～みはる～

100th post: Thesis submitted!

On my 100th post, I'm here to declare that I'm one step nearer to graduation.

I've submitted my honors thesis today.

You would think, 'ahh, that must have felt great, to finally submit your thesis'.... Har har. Not exactly.

Ok, so it was partly my fault. I had planned to go to the office early and check my thesis again before printing, but I had stayed up till 4am last night to finish the drafts for my posters, so I could hardly lift my head to the alarm clock some 4 hours of sleep later. In the end, I reached the office about 15 mins before ten. But I thought I still have 2 hours before submission deadline, so I should be okay.

Went to library with my FYP mate and printed one copy, of which then I spent 1 hr checking my thesis word for word. I mean, once you submit, and that is it... so it's better to really check thoroughly rite? However, I spent such a long time checking that before I realized, it was 15 mins before submission deadline and I have yet to print the remaining 4 copies of the thesis. So I started sending print jobs and rushing to the printing room to retrieve my thesis. Darn the color pages, I had to spend some $50 for printing to ensure all the graphs are aesthetically pleasing for examiners. Confident the thesis is in perfect order and alignment, I didn't turn the pages to scrutinize and directly filed them for submission. All 3 hard copies for submission.

By the time I was running to the general office to submit the thesis, I was already 10 mins late and still have not prepared the soft copy for submission. So I submitted the hard copy first before running up to office to burn the soft copy. While waiting for the CD to write, I flipped through the copy of thesis I printed for my supervisor. To my utmost horror, several pages of legends were detached from their figures and the alignment of the first 20 pages went horribly wrong. My heart nearly stop beating as I turned pages over pages of misaligned headlines and legends. The thought of having to reprint almost 150 pages of thesis which will cost me another $50 nearly killed me. But the worst was that all 3 copies of my thesis sitting in the office now are as good as defective items. The examiner would be appalled by the horrible (mis)organizations!

The cause?

ONE spacing (which was NOT present when I print preview my job request) in the Abstract page created a domino effect: pushing all my thesis contents down by one line, ruining all the precarious alignments.


Knowing I cannot let the examiner see all these misalignments, I ran down to the general office to withdraw all the 3 copies and reprinted the misaligned pages. After spending another $10 in the printing room, I checked EVERY single page of the thesis for other errors before submitting the thesis AGAIN, for real. The office lady seemed really pissed at my submitting-withdrawing-submitting again antics, but yea, don't care.

Believe me, there's a conspiracy involving the printing service providers to swindle our money by inserting such spacing in our document that ruins the alignments.

What a dramatic end to my 4-month thesis.

～みはる～

Perspective: The Last Lap

What do you do at the last 100 meters of a relay race?


You dash for it.


And that is exactly what I am doing now. It's approaching the final week of my undergraduate studies, and I'm putting in every microlitre of my energy for the last sprint towards the finishing line.

To simply put, it had been such an eventful semester. Frankly, I didn't have the time to sit down quietly to put things in perspective until this evening; I was racing against the clock in my relay race of thesis project and thesis writing itself. When I gave my thesis first draft to my supervisor for evaluation, I suddenly had free time on hand to mull over these things. Let me just run through some important events since my last depressing post.

• 1. Wrapping up of bench work

I have already whined enough about my long lab hours as I tried to achieve as much results as time permitted. On the day I wrapped up my project, I gleefully declared to my colleague, "This is my LAST miniprep!!! You won't see me in the lab doing lab work anymore! Hah!" At that time, I was too stressed out about starting on my still-blank thesis, hence the impact of halting benchwork, something I totally enjoyed doing, didn't really hit me. It may have been very tiring, and most of the times frustrating when you do not get expected results, but I totally love buzzing around the lab, doing experiments, and sharing ideas, jokes and complaints with colleagues across the bench, spreading (yes, all those hundred over plates I had to spread) bacteria culture on agar.... I just feel purposeful and fulfilled doing lab work. And I would definitely love to go back doing bench work soon.

• 2. Thesis writing

You know, I never ever thought I could write a book, or thesis, for the matter. That I managed to self-pen a scientific writing in 5 days (yes, 5 days!!) simply amazed me. However, it wasn't all a pleasant experience though. My momentum took 3 days to pick up, and when it did, I went into full force writing. I used to be able to read only a maximum of 2 journal articles a day, but during the height of my momentum, I was reading 20 journal articles in 6 hours. My mind became so immersed in all the information I was frantically organizing in my head that it went into an overdrive and I didn't sleep for 36 hours, all the while writing non-stop. When I finally finished my draft, I couldn't help smiling to myself, because the piece of work felt like a baby: it started a blank sheet of paper, and I wrote the 50 pages all by myself!! Felt like glowing with pride.

To illustrate just how stressful it had been producing this piece of work, let me show you my workstation at the height of stress.



I gave up working at my tiny desk, so I laid out the extra mattress on the floor and strewn the entire room.

A. Journal papers
B. Reference books hidden under the bed
C. Clothes I never had the time to fold
D. Speakers necessary to play music that would soothe my already frayed nerves
E. Laptop perched on several reference books for better ergonomics
F. Preliminary thesis draft
G. Project log book
H. More reference books
I. Thesis writing guideline
J. More journal papers
K. Thesis outline(s)
L. Even more journal papers
M. Where I sat rooted for the whole weekend writing

Every area on the floor within my working radius was strewn with all sorts of references as I rushed to finish my draft. When I finally walked to school to submit the draft to my supervisor, I was brain dead and swaying on my feet. But I persisted until I reached the office.... only to find my supervisor not in. I really wanted to quickly pass her the draft and then go back to my room and conk out for the rest of the day, but had to wait for her return to personally pass her my precious writing effort. But she didn't return to office some 2 hours later, and I could felt myself going into delirium, so I dropped my thesis on the shelf near her door along with an email reminding her to pick up my thesis... and crawled back across the campus to conk out in bed.

In a cruel twist of fate, heavens decided to release floodgates and a carnival of lightning as I started walking back to my room. Stranded in the walkway, I contemplated to wait until the storm recede or run some half a km in the rain to reach my bed. My lethargy won the debate and (un)willingly, I walked in the rain to go home and sleep. It goes without saying I was drenched like some wet blanket, and after a hot shower, I crashed out. I mean, really crash out. I conked out the moment my head hit the pillow and didn't wake up until some 15 hours later. I could really sleep summore, but had to meet my supervisor regarding the first draft thing. Reluctantly, I climbed out of bed and could felt my brain pretty much detached from the rest of my body. I was so mentally drained that it felt like I had taken some mind altering drugs and then in a hangover state. When I reached the office and greeted my colleagues, I felt like an alien speaking earthling language for the first time. The hazards of staying up 36 hours writing a thesis.

However, all the hardwork (and sacrifice of one night's sleep!) more than made up for it when my supervisor told me I did a good job with my draft. I had in fact felt very stressed out and nervous about her response to my first draft, because the rest of my FYP mates seemed to have their drafts bounced back out for some major changes before qualifying for a real draft review. I had braced myself for the same outcome (and another night of no-sleep!), so her comment took me by pleasant surprise. However, she asked that I reshuffled some of my materials before qualifying for a real draft review. So, my draft still got bounced out, but thank God no major changes required. So, after tweaking a little here and there, I managed to submit my corrected draft to her for a real review this evening.

It felt like a great relief to be able to take a one night break from the whole thesis writing mania. Throughout last week, I had even attempted to write my thesis in my sleep. The stress level was so great my mind could not rest even though it was pleading for a break. Finally, I can have a good night's sleep tonight!!

• 3. Lab potluck

To celebrate the end of our projects (and soon-to-be-end thesis writings), our lab decided to organize a potluck today. Everyone was assigned to bring some foodstuff, and we all pooled together for a hearty lunch. It was extremely enjoyable that all of us (including our supervisor!) had the chance to crowd around the table in a meeting room with all the homemade food arrayed out, sharing food, jokes and laughter with each other. There was no uneasiness whatsoever, because everyone dug into the buffet together and crapped while enjoying the food. It was a really wonderful socializing experience and all the more made me felt very attached to the lab. One colleague once described our all-girls lab as a 'loving lab', and I must say she is absolutely right. We do have our ups and downs, but we enjoyed each others' support and companionship incredibly. More so, that our supervisor is such an incredibly down-to-earth person, whom we can laugh and joke with so easily. It'll be really sad to leave the lab soon, but it had been such a wonderful semester with them and I'm sure it will be a fond memory in time to come.

• 4. Poster presentation preparation

I would probably start whining about how I haven't started designing poster for my poster presentation and all the stress that comes with it, but the invitation email to the poster presentation from the FYP coordinator today threw me in a psyched up mood. As I read through the poster list, I felt excited about the upcoming poster presentation because you can feel that it is going to be such a meaningful event for everyone of us graduating FYP students. All our hardwork in the past 6 months will be up on exhibition and we are given one whole day to express our efforts and all things we learnt these 4 years in a grand demonstration of more than 150 posters. I can't help but feel excited at the diversity of the projects listed in the poster list, because I truly feel research is fun, exciting and rewarding in its own right. I don't know why I'm all that hyped up, but it feels like my university days will end in a bang. I truly enjoyed every moment of my FYP and I'm determined to enjoy every last moment of it.


Looking back, I appreciate all the ups and downs I had faced during my undergraduate studies because it had helped me grown so much as a person. All happy and sad times, all tears and laughter are like snapshots of my life I'm determined to keep as good memories as life goes on. It makes me proud to say that I have no regrets joining the School of Biological Sciences, and it's the choice I had wanted all along for my undergraduate life.

To all my coursemates: let us make the last mile dash together! Best of luck!

～みはる～

Sunmaid raisins

You know what happens when you work continuously for at least 12-14 hours per day for 30 days?




Your mental, physical and emotional stamina shrivels up like Sunmaid's raisins.




I'm not kidding. I've been going on and on and on without weekends nor holidays... not even a decent one day break. Multiple experiments a day, several 4-day experiments per week, sky high piles of data for analyses... it's all taking a toll on me already. If I were a machine, the screws that are holding my parts together are threatening to burst out of their bolts.

So why does this person work so hard, you ask.

Answer: It's a genetic sickness called perfectionism.

After obtaining my molecular library, I'm now rushing to get a promoter. Yes, I know. Big dreams I have. To find a promoter in less than 3 months. But I want that damn promoter in my thesis. And to get that damn promoter, I'm putting in every drop of strength remaining in my already worn-out body to it.

And guess what - I haven't a single word in my thesis yet. SURPRISE!!

My deadline's end of this month, and I'm so in for some major writing stress for the next 2 weeks. After which I will collapse as the remaining bit of stamina that's holding me up will shrivel dry. Like Sunmaid's raisins.

Pray that I won't collapse any time before these two weeks.

～みはる～

Romeo X Juliet

I'm going to steal several precious minutes meant to prepare for presentation tomorrow to blog this. I just have to blog this.

The most tragic love story of all time is here.

ROMEO X JULIET

The list of Spring 2007's release of animes was out several weeks back and from a glance, I do not seem to find anything particularly interesting (if it's not yuri, it's harem, or other overused animation themes). However, there was only one which I thought might be promising: Gonzo's RomeoXJuliet.

Random Curiosity had introduced this animation several months back, when the project was announced to be released in Spring 2007. I had watched the trailer back then, and I really liked it. But I had thought, Romeo and Juliet, what a cliche love story.

I was so wrong.

The first episode was released on 4th April and it took my breath away. The music was great, the voice acting was great, the graphics were great, the animation was great, the story was fantastic. Apart from using the characters 'Romeo' and 'Juliet', and the hunch that this will end very tragically, there is nothing similar to William Shakespear's Romeo & Juliet.

Let me just gush how beautiful the opening theme is. It totally fits the tragic romantic theme of this series, and the voice of Lena Park is very soulful to start with. I loved it when I first heard it and it's now on my playlist over and over and over again. I'm going to let you listen for yourself the best OP theme of the Spring season:




Watching the first episode, you will find this a neo-Romeo&Juliet story. I supposed it's 'neo' because the city our hero and heroine reside in is called Neo-Verona, and it's an aerial city, meaning city in the sky. Horses here can fly (that totally caught me off guard) and Juliet is a master swords(wo)man.

Unlike William Shakespear's Romeo & Juliet where both the Montague and Capulet families were just noble feuds, Gonzo's Romeo X Juliet relates that Romeo's father, Montague, murdered every single member of the Capulet family except for Juliet herself as she was rescued in time by a loyal servant. For the next 14 years, Juliet lived in disguise as a common boy without knowing her true identity until her 16th birthday. For the 14 years, she also masqueraded as a swords(wo)man, nicknamed Red Whirlwind, and often whiz around the Neo-Verona city to rescue the poor commoners bullied by the Montague-led noble men and soldiers. On the night before her 16th birthday, her friend Emilia dragged Juliet to a Rose Ball, a masquerade ball organized by the Montague family for their son, Romeo. Unbeknowst of her history, Juliet let her hair down and dolled up for the party. Upon reaching the castle however, she experience flashbacks of memories in the castle, which was rightfully a property of the Capulet family. Intimidated by the cold stare from Montague, Juliet ran out into the fountain garden, and under the moonlight (with all the rose petals falling in the wind) she met Romeo and it was love at first sight.

What really captivated me about Gonzo's neo-Romeo and Juliet story is that Juliet fell in love with the son of her whole Capulet family murderer, Montague. And Romeo, who is totally clueless about the whole bloody history his father had created, was totally in love with Juliet as well. Can you still love someone the way you did at first sight when you learnt that his family had killed yours? Is love pure enough to actually persevere through such ugly betrayal? Will Juliet choose to forgive and love or will she sacrifice her love to redeem justice for her family's murder? It would be interesting to see how Juliet struggle against love, hate, justice, forgiveness and revenge.

I'm going to bet this story will end very tragically, but I think it will be the most entertaining tragic love story of the year.

Watch the trailer on the official site and be blown away by the awesome-ness of this creation.

Images from Random Curiosity and ロミオXジュィエット

～みはる～

Occupational hazards of research

My top 3 occupational hazards of research:

• 3. PCR tubes

The tiny PCR tubes are unwitting hazards. Small microfuge tubes with tiny but tight caps which requires considerable strength to cap and uncap them. It is okay if you run 1 or 2 PCR samples, but when you are doing mass sampling using PCR tubes (like 40s - 100s), repeated peeling of the caps can severely chip your nails. I have already ruined two digits in the process of sampling close to 80 tubes, and am in urgent need of nail therapy. Shucks, I have another 40 tubes tomorrow!!

• 2. Long hours without meals nor sleep

There are some days when your deadline is near and you work round the clock and the canteen is closed when you are waiting for your gel to run... you might just end up not eating nor sleeping for some time. Three consecutive days of working non-stop with only ~5 hours sleep each day, and an average of less than one meal in 24 hours is really taking a toll on my mind and gastrointestinal system. In fact, lately when I walk back to my room from campus, I feel kinda floaty. Hmm.

• 1. Muscle sprain

This is my number one hazard. Poor ergonomics in the lab setting and continous laboring leads to injury of the muscle. My back and neck muscles had been protesting for several days now as a result of sitting at the BSC for many hours straight in the lab, and today all my muscles gave way. They sprained so bad I couldn't stand straight for long and had to walk crookedly. My neck muscle is burning in strain and I had to tilt my head to relieve the pain. What undignified sight.


Research in the lab in truly not without such horrible occupational hazards.

～みはる～

Akkan Berry Berry

Since last week I have been OT-ing in lab for long hours, so when I had to wake up early for lab yesterday, I felt very very tired and drained and unenthusiatic. ぜんぜん元気なかった。

But it's a wonder how a song can inject some genki-ness (i.e. enthusiasm) to your day. While I was walking to school, I happened to press the wrong button on my mp3 player and this song came to play:

Ichigo Mashimaro OVA theme
- AKKAN BERRY BERRY -

The upbeat tune made me felt more cheerful and enthusiastic for the rest of my day. I hope it will make yours too!

A series of unfortunate events

I had a bad Good Friday.

First, I had to wake up in the morning to go to lab on a PUBLIC HOLIDAY.

Second, on my way to school, while crossing the pedestrian bridge, a moustache-ed, Middle-East-looking man heading the same direction walked up to my side and then pointed at my 1L- water container and insulted me. It goes like this:

Moustache Jerk : (snicker) What is that?
Me : (blur, thought he was pointing at my shoes) ...........
Moustache Jerk : (points at my semi-filled water bottle)
Me : .... Water? (thinking: duhhh)
Moustache Jerk : Why carry water?
Me : .... Because I want to drink? (thinking: duhhh)
Moustache Jerk : There's plenty in campus. You don't have to carry such a heavy container! (laughs)
Me : (drops sarcastic bomb) Because I like it?
Moustache Jerk : (laughs some more) Enjoy it then!

It took all my (already draining) willpower to not throw my 'heavy' water container at his moustache-d face. What kind of greeting is this that you give to a stranger on the way to work? It was such an insult! I could have carried a GALLON of water if I wanted to, what right does he had to make fun of that? How rude!

Third, every single food outlet within proximity from my lab is closed because it's a public holiday. *Pause*
Do people not need to eat on a public holiday????? The only fast-food outlet in campus, the source of gastronomic salvation for all us round-the-clock lab-ers, is also closed on Good Friday!! In the end I didn't eat breakfast, lunch nor dinner the entire day. I already skipped dinner last night, so unwarranted fasting did not go well with my gastrointestinal system. If this were a game of SIMS, my mood metre would be glowing red.

Fourth, the freezer screwed my morale big time. Already I was cold (the stupid air-conditioning is forever blowing at 0 degrees), hungry, tired, and very very mentally drained after such a long day, so all I want was to go home earlier to catch some sleep. Yesterday I discovered that I have 68 vials of bacterial cells inside the -80 degrees Celsius freezer not labeled according to the lab's system, so I had to make the changes today. So what I did was remove the 68 vials in batches of 10 serially to change the labels (you can't leave the vials out in room temperature too long, the bacteria die in an instant). Little did I know that repeated opening and closing of the freezer door will cause the interior temperature to rise VERY QUICKLY. When I was done, the display outside the freezer door showed that the interior temperature is -69 degrees Celsius, and the freezer started beeping like mad. The alarm for 'high temperature' kept flashing and beeping, and it truly ALARM-ed me. I stood there staring at the freezer door, dumbfounded.... and to my horror, the temperature kept increasing. The next thing I know, it was already -64 degrees Celsius. My blood froze.

Panic clutched its claws around my neck as I ran back to lab to call my colleague. If the temperature do not decrease now, ALL the cells in the freezer will die and.... I dare not think of the consequences. In consolation, my colleague relayed that the freezer will take some time to start cooling down, so I had to wait for a few HOURS for the freezer to cool back to -80. For the following 2-3hours, I ran back and forth between the lab and the freezer in the chiller room to silence the beeping alarm and check the temperature. Fortunately, after 1 hour, the temperature slowly dropped. It was an agonizing wait, because I had to allow the temperature to stabilize before opening the door again to put in 80 more vials. For the whole night, I had to wait for the bloody freezer to stabilize. The lethargy, hunger and stupid air-conditioning really rocked my spirits.

It's such a BAD Friday.

～みはる～

One more time, One more chance

秒速５センチメートル theme song by Yamazaki Masayoshi :

ONE MORE TIME, ONE MORE CHANCE

The video plain teases you with all the hints of what's going to happen in Chapter 2: Cosmonaut and Chapter 3: Byousoku 5 Centimeters. Makes me want to scream, "When is the DVD out???"

No better song to complement this romantic masterpiece apart from Yamazaki's heart-rending rendition of 'One More Time, One More Chance'. The title of the song speaks itself.

Here's the lyrics to the beautiful theme song in Kanji. Romanized version can be found on Gendou.

これ以上何を失えば　心は許させるの
どれ程の痛みならば　もういちど君に会える
One more time 季節よ　うつろわないで
One more time　ふざけあった時間よ

くいちがう時はいつも　僕が先に折れたね
わがままな性格が　なおさら愛しくさせた
One more chance　記憶に足を取られて
One more chance　次の場所を選べない

いつでも捜しているよ　どっかに君の姿を
向いのホーム　路地裏の窓
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
願いがもしも叶うなら　今すぐ君のもとへ
できないことは　もう何もない
すべてかけて抱きしめてみせるよ

寂しさ紛らすだけなら　誰でもいいはずなのに
星が落ちそうな夜だから　自分をいつわれない
One more time　季節よ　うつろわないで
One more time　ふざけあった時間よ

いつでも捜しているよ　どっかに君の姿を
交差点でも　夢の中でも
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
奇跡がもしも起こるなら　今すぐ君にみせたい
新しい朝　これからの僕
言えなかった「好き」という言葉も

夏の想い出がまわる
ふいに消えた鼓動

いつでも捜しているよ　どっかに君の姿を
明け方の街　桜木町で
こんなとこに来るはずもないのに
願いがもしも叶うなら　今すぐ君のもとへ
できないことは　もう何もない
すべてかけて抱きしめてみせるよ

いつでも捜しているよ　どっかに君の欠片を
旅先の店　新聞の隅
こんなとこにあるはずもないのに
奇跡がもしも起こるなら　今すぐ君に見せたい
新しい朝　これからの僕
言えなかった「好き」という言葉も

いつでも捜してしまう　どっかに君の笑顔を
急行待ちの　踏切あたり
こんなとこにいるはずもないのに
命が繰り返すならば　何度も君のもとへ
欲しいものなど　もう何もない
君のほかに大切なものなど

～みはる～

T_T

It's back to no-colony days.

TT_TT

～みはる～

秒速５センチメートル - 第１話 桜花抄

やっと来ました～！
新海誠の秒速５センチメートル - 第１話：桜花抄


The Japanese animation movie most anticipated this Spring - Shinkai Makoto's Byousoku 5 Senchimetoru. The first part of three, entitled Chapter 1 : Oukashou, delivered what the trailer had promised - top notch animation, excellent voice acting, gorgeous graphics, and beautiful music.

For some (maybe obvious) reason, animation movies are of higher quality than animation series. It probably has to do with the budget and direction, but animation movies have such fluid scene transition and fine-tuned animation it blows your mind. My first exposure to such superb quality animation was when I watched Miyazaki's Spirited Away. The animation of the characters and the scenes were very real. And I loved the graphics and colors. Although the plot was more supernatural, the voice acting was pretty good and dramatic.

Take Miyazaki's Spirited Away and multiply the quality by 5 times - you get Shinkai Makoto's Byousoku 5 Senchimetoru. While I do love Spirited Away, the first chapter of Byousoku 5 Senchimetoru really blew my mind. I love love love the way Shinkai-san animated the falling sakura petals and snowflakes... the sceneries throughout the Oukashou chapter were simply surreal. The animation is simply very REAL, especially in character-less scenes, i.e. the moving JR train, the falling snow at the train station, the gust of spring breeze carrying falling sakura petals, the reflection of lights against the classroom chairs,.... I could go on and on. I have never experienced such gorgeous graphics and animation. And this is only the first part of three.

I must also mention the plot and the direction of Oukashou.
In one word : brilliant.
The direction is very good because you can feel the frustration welling inside Takaki-kun when his train is delayed at every station as the snow falls mercilessly. You can feel his dismay as the snowstorm stood in his way and time passes by him in his journey to meet Akari-chan. You can feel the pain crushing Akari-chan when she relayed to Takaki-kun that she had to transfer to Tochigi. Most of all, the excellent direction makes the audience wonder if the deep bond and love Takaki and Akari had for each other could stand against the growing physical distance between them. Will they see each other again? Will time erase all special feelings they now held dear? Will time and distance drift apart two individuals with such strong affection for each other?

第３話　秒速５センチメートル holds the answer.




Please visit 秒速５センチメートル for more gorgeous images and trailers.

～みはる～

PhD... maybe?

"You have been short listed for an interview for our PhD course on 28 March 2007"

I mentally and emotionally went through a rollercoaster when I saw this email yesterday. I started off:

...feeling happy because I've made it to the interview stage, then
...feeling excited about the prospects of doing a doctorate, then
...feeling nervous thinking who the interviewer would be, then
...feeling unsure if I really have the means and time (and money!) to do PhD, then
...feeling restless deciding (already!) between PhD and a job, then
...very BLUR because I thought 28th March is NEXT WEEK.

Had my colleague, A, not remind me that 28th is tomorrow, I would have missed the interview altogether. And come to think of it, then I would not have so much to think about. Hm.

I think I think too much.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

～みはる～