The irony

It's one of those days I've had, but unlike previously, it grasped me.

I'm talking about little surprises. Allow me to explain.

I was alone at the campus bus stop, waiting for bus this morning to go grocery shopping, when another girl joined me in my wait. She's a total stranger, so as I do always, I just continued what I was doing, i.e. listening to music and staring into the green scenery across the street.

After some 5 mins of waiting (not that it was unpleasant; the breeze was gentle and the sun was bright..), stranger girl suddenly lifted her hand and waved in my direction. Surprised, I turned back, expecting to see another person behind me who would be returning her wave. However, there was no one. I turned back at stranger girl, who was actually waving to me. I smiled at her, and she must have taken that as a green signal to begin a conversation. And with that, I found myself accompanied throughout my journey to the shopping center.

In retrospect, I find myself thinking, "Ahh, I haven't seen such a person for a long time." To me stranger girl (called ZY as I found out) was cheerful and courageous in socializing, something I felt I, and my generation in the society, totally lack in. She took the initiative to warm up a silent wait at the bus stop, a silence I have come to thought as natural over my years living in an urban city. I mean, how many of us speak to total strangers while waiting for our transport? With all the security issues plaguing the society (mothers tell us not to talk to strangers, no?) ignoring the person next to you seems like the right thing to do. But surprisingly at times, it can be quite a warm and pleasant encounter, getting to know someone new this way.

Thinking about it, I wondered if I have allowed myself to meld into a hypocrite: believing that I am sociable, telling people I am friendly, advocating courage in others, labeling ill-mannered people as hypocrites when myself am cowardly and hypocritical to start with. It's so easy to point fingers at another person, blaming them for all things that had failed you (or rather you had failed) and shrugging off your responsibility. It's a comfort to our state of mind, convincing that we have done all right and no wrong, and what we are now is a consequence of their err.

How ironic a warm encounter can invoke all these unsettling emotions.

～みはる～