g.o.n.e.

What is does it feels like to lose a precious item for the second time? Devastating. Yes, I'm feeling very very devastated right now.

When I was preparing to go for exam this noon, I looked into the mirror and to my greatest horror, my necklace was GONE! The platinum chain with 5-sapphire-petal pendant was not around my neck! Disbelieved, I searched the entire room for the delicate necklace. It was nowhere to be found. NOWHERE! "It can't be anywhere but the room, I barely stepped out here often these days", I thought as I continued to raid the bed, closet, every nook and crany of my already tiny room. But I couldn't find it. I searched the toilets, pantry, corridors of the hostel.... in futile.

The timing can't be much worse. It's like 1 hour away from my exam and I get this emotional tsunami at this time. My focus just disintegrate and I could not even think straight, let alot concentrate for the upcoming paper.
Must be crazy this girl, you might think. But this necklace is of great sentimental value. It's a birthday present from my parents and is my ultimate favourite because the pendant resembles a unique blue Sakura. Of course no Sakura is blue, but my favourite color is blue anyway and I like Sakura alot. I had always preferred to don this necklace above all that I have and it means more since it's a gift from Mom and Dad. And now it's lost!! I was so upset to the point of tears. And this horrible feeling is still plaguing me even after the paper. I can't even focus my concentration to study for the next paper.

This is as good as rubbing salt to wound. Two years ago, my Mom got me an invaluable necklace during our trip to Chengde in China. It was a money-can't-buy pendant of the Mercy of Goddess obtained from this temple located in the mountain. And I liked it a lot, so I wore it on the same chain as a jade pendant my Dad bought for me. And I lost it in campus after like 4 months wearing it. That time too, I was so devastated that I retraced all the steps I've taken, revisited all the places in campus I went just to find it. Unfortunately, it never make it back to my possession. It took me some time to get over it. And now this..... It seems like I have a knack of losing precious stones and jewellery I hold dear. What I find most devastating is that I don't realise when the chain slipped off my neck. Since I don't know when I lose it, I have absolutely no idea where to even start looking for it. I'm so annoyed with my insensitivity, it's so upsetting.

It's so upsetting that I have no thoughts about today's paper.


～みはる～