The concept of subtlety is not very popular. Or so, I observed.
You see, I was queuing at a check-out counter of a grocery store several days ago. In line behind me was a middle-aged mom. (I'd give her, late 30s. Okay, maybe early 30s, but she looks older. Okay, I'm indignant. She pressed my wrong buttons. Hmph.)
She had a little boy with her, probably about 2-3 years old. Very cute, tottering about with a box of biscuits in his hands. Smart Boy apparently had grasped the idea that he needs to check-out and pay for the box of biscuits before he can eat them, but not quite with the idea of queuing to make the payment. So, mom repeatedly admonish the little chap, "No, boy, you need give it to auntie first. Come, give me, we need to give auntie the biscuits first."
Tottering somewhere beside me, Smart Boy looked up at me, and held out the box of biscuits. "Aww, so cute"...was what I would have said, if not for mom, who very quickly snapped at the kid, "Not this auntie, that cashier auntie."
That was, like, right in my face. Not very subtle.
I am amused.
Maybe age is catching up faster than I would have liked. Sigh.
So, there I was on a Sunday afternoon, trawling my favourite bookstore and doing this not very nice thing of reading (not buying!) a book in a bookstore. The title that caught my eye today was 'Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married' by Gary Chapman, the man behind the concept of 5 love languages. Why that title caught my interest warrants a whole new post, and let's just content with random curiosity for the time being.
What was impressionable in my visit there today is not so much the book, but what I happened to observe in my surroundings while reading that book. So I was hidden amongst mounds of books in the 'Family & Relationships' aisle, reading, when a couple approached the rack next to me - apparently in search for a book along this genre. The man was pushing a pram and the woman, looking very pregnant, had a 5-6 year old in hand. Without even looking up, I could sense a little negative tension in the air between them as they browse; the woman repeatedly and impatiently telling the restless young boy to not yank her hold.
Okay, blame me for being judgmental, but the first thought that ran through my head was, 'Why is a couple with 3 children looking for books in this section?'. Then again, I'm an advocate of life long learning, so I thought perhaps they are looking for ideas to enhance their family life. (yes, I am rather naive) Brilliant, I thought.
As they moved along the aisle, an exchange between the husband and wife got me a little disturbed. I'm guessing he's not one with a sweet-temper, because he became rather quickly frustrated when they couldn't find the book they were looking for. He then started hurtling expletives at her, RIGHT IN FRONT OF his son. "Why didn't you f***king..... You are making me pissed off.... No, you are getting pissy here... F***...". The woman retaliated, although without vulgarities. I glanced up (not wishing to stare, thinking it would be quite rude), and saw the boy was watching the 18-PG verbal volley between mum and dad in silence. This went back and forth a couple more times before they angrily strode off.
I felt very sad for the boy, for I believe marital conflict should never be displayed in this manner in front of young children. Yes, no marriage is perfect and conflicts are part of the package, but I don't think it's ever right to play out this kind of conflict in front of impressionable young minds. It's not difficult to conceive why more and more people develop psychosomatic disorders rooted in bad childhood experiences, isn't it? I wondered if the couple had any idea what may be the grave consequences on the boy as a result of their exchange today.
I couldn't help but felt resigned at the irony of the entire scenario.
The book I was reading is probably targeted at them, not me.
The population who should be reading this book, is not picking it up.
It's been a while since I last (properly) updated this blog. A lot has happened within the last 4 months or so. Many changes externally and internally. But then again, change is constant!
First, as per my annual ritual, had to uproot....again. Landlords were moving back here and wanted to reclaim their house. Although it should not be new by now, had to call numerous agents (I stopped remembering their names already, just went by the district and block number of the apartment units they offered) and schedule viewing appointments, bla bla bla. However, there was a deeper problem under these routine stuff we (as housemates) were facing - there wasn't an explicitly unanimous decision on the location of the new unit, or even the housemate arrangement. This was further muddied by other side issues, and to summarize, things got slightly unpretty at one point and it ended with us going on separate ways.
On one hand, it was rather difficult for me because that move was as good as walking out on a partnership all of us have built for a couple of years now. But on the other hand, I really needed to walk out and move on; it was liberating to throw out excess baggage. It was hardly easy, but I mustered enough strength to turn my back and walk towards a brighter place; although I wished it didn't end with such sour aftertaste.
I do thank my former housemates for the lessons and experiences they gave me. It is priceless. But I'm glad to have moved on.
Second, I think I have been on an eventful emotional rollercoaster ride for more than a year now. Oh wait, I'm always on a rollercoaster ride. What's different this time, is that I took a proactive role in dissecting my problem and implementing solutions. Over the 12 months or so, I read really insightful books, listened to great people speak, had meaningful conversations, meet admirable individuals... I made effort to pay attention to lessons that I can and have to learn from each of these encounters. I was (and still is) constantly on self-reflection. I felt the importance of connecting with people, directly or indirectly. I was reassured of my capabilities, my potential, and my motive to be as enduringly compassionate as I can be. This was particularly important to me, because I find it difficult to champion compassion in a cynical community. It was enormously reassuring to know that some great people share my ideals. Thanks to this healthy progress of personal development, I am now discovering and (perhaps) attempting to realize my purpose on this little planet called Earth.
It does feel good to have focus in life.
Apart from that, I have been kept busy with a vacation in Europe (yes, a 2nd under a year. They say good stuff comes in 3s... when's my 3rd trip to Europe coming??!), scientific collaboration with a Canadian veteran scientist, catching up with old friends, awesome music concerts, chillout sessions,movies... it's been great since I stopped looking the proverbial glass as half empty and view it as half full.
Heartache, I realized, does not necessarily go away with time.
Perhaps the sharp edges of pain becomes dull over time, but at the pull of a wrong trigger, it can hurtle you back into the unpleasant ride of limbic rollercoaster. Leaves a really bad aftertaste.
I should have done a clean sweep and left no broken shards. But I didn't.
And now, it looks like it will hurt a lot to yank out the remaining shard.
What a random revelation. And all it took was a benign email.
At the end of the day, you'll find the concrete you painstakingly laid disintegrates into sand, leaving nothingness just as when you began.
Have you ever built a sandcastle? You know when you put in a lot of effort to create a solid fort and dedicated a lot of time to carve the beautiful details, and with all your heart and patience, worked to materialize the castle in your mind's eye?
And how it feels when a humongous wave crashes to shore, smashing your painstaking effort into smithereens, leaving nothing behind? All your time and dedication in exchange for nothing.
Of late, I get that feeling a lot. Everything I gave, all the time spent giving, was exchanged for nothing.
I'm on a little Arts Festival of my own. This is a brief account of my movie and theatre festival so far.
Animal Farm
I watched this play under the recommendation of my colleague, who is quite a fan of theatre and plays. Though initially hesitant (tickets were not cheap!), I am so glad I went for this play because it is fantastic for a local production. I was delightfully surprised and entertained by all the 'animals'. The actors were truly fantastic and world class.
Based on the novella of the same name by George Orwell, the play was hilarious yet thought-provoking. (find out more about Animal Farm here.) Props and sound were minimal but the actors shone in their act. I was thoroughly entertained.
Two thumbs up from me!
Chicago
It was my delight to be able to watch one of the greatest musical productions of all time. Chicago, one of the longest running broadway ever, was here and I had the luck to watch it, from a very good seat!!
I'm doing injustice to merely describe this musical as brilliant, sexy, exhilarating or impressive. It was just... awesome. The songs were brilliant, the actors were brilliant, the music was brilliant, the story was brilliant, it was just... awesome.
Chicago tells about the trials of two murderesses, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly, who were represented by the smooth-talking lawyer Billy Flynn, to a background of the Prohibition-era Chicago. (learn more about Chicago here) It is a dark story of murder, adultery, deception, violence, and corruption fantastically played out to a medley of jazz, swing and tango. I must say the actors were just astoundingly brilliant. Sharon Millerchip as Roxie Hart and Deone Zanotto as Velma Kelly were simply awesome. The remaining cast members were just as brilliant in their supporting roles. And oh, the costumes! Skimpy, tight, black and sexy, it set the tone of the story perfectly right.
My favorite scene from the show had to be the 'Cell Block Tango'. About 6-7 ladies imprisoned for their crimes wailed and lashed in anger and indignation of how they were 'wrongfully punished' for their crime (i.e. murder). It was dark yet funny at the same time. Fantastic!
Chicago is a highly recommended musical for anyone interested in theatre and play. Two thumbs up from me!
Ice Kacang Puppy Love (初恋红豆冰)
I'm very glad I caught this on cinema. Ice Kacang Puppy Love is Malaysian singer Aniu's directorial debut and it is the embodiment of how every Malaysian movie should be. Perhaps it is that I come from the same generation as Aniu and thus I share his sentiments, but I could understand everything that he wanted to convey in his movie - the quaintness of kampung life, the bittersweet memory of your first crush, the struggles of vivacious young people trying to make a mark for themselves,.. everything. Somehow it makes me feel connected: the guli games we played, the sweltering kopitiam our grandparents dragged us to, the I-don't-friend-you-anymore childishness each and every one of us went through in our school days, the blue school pinafores,... the lost of our innocence as we leave the idyllic cocoon of our childhood in kampung for the bustling city and modern adulthood.
What I love most about the movie is the cinematography and the music. The angle of capturing coupled with the right music at the right time itself created the nostalgy that Aniu wants to bring across. So powerful was it that some scenes evoked feelings and brought tears to my eyes.
Of course it goes without saying the star-studded all-Malaysian cast was brilliant, as was the choice of filming location. My hometown went on silverscreen! I must also say, that the story, while not entirely awesome, is very nicely written with all relationships delicately interwoven and perfectly balanced in melodrama and humor. I also liked that Aniu gave his film a very Malaysian flavor, with the potpourri of different cultures and dialects spoken. It is, in short, a fantastic local film qualified for international film festival!
To top it off, the theme song, performed by Aniu, is a cover of an old song written and produced by a former local artiste. I preferred Aniu's version because his voice quality and music arrangement alone could blanket me in melancholy.
Totally recommended for all Malaysians. Two thumbs up!
I came across this article, which I felt is a great food for thought.
(disclaimer: I do not own this writing, it is reproduced from this site.)
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A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule. A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3-year-old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston and the seats averaged $100.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing in cognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experiment could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
In 2007, Washington Post writer Gene Weingarten enlisted renowned violinist Joshua Bell, a winner of the Avery Fisher Prize for outstanding achievement in classical music who regularly undertakes over 200 international engagements a year, to spend part of a morning playing in cognito at the entrance of a Washington Metro station during a morning rush hour. Weingarten set up the event "as an experiment in context, perception and priorities - as well as an unblinking assessment of public taste: In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?"
So, on 12 January 2007, morning commuters passing through the L'Enfant Plaza Station of the subway line in Washington DC were, without publicity, treated to a free mini-concert performed by violin virtuoso Joshua Bell, who played for approximately 45 minutes, performing six classical pieces during that span on his handcrafted 1713 Stradivarius violin (for which Bell reportedly paid $3.5 million). As Weingarten described the crux of the experiment:
"Each passerby had a quick choice to make, one familiar to commuters in any urban area where the occasional street performer is part of the cityscape: Do you stop and listen? Do you hurry past with a blend of guilt and irritation, aware of your cupidity but annoyed by the unbidden demand on your time and your wallet? Do you throw in a buck, just to be polite? Does your decision change if he's really bad? What if he's really good? Do you have time for beauty? Shouldn't you? What's the moral mathematics of the moment?"
Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed Some say love it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed Some say love it is a hunger, an endless aching need I say love it is a flower, and you it's only seed
It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose
Apart from being nostalgic, this song does give much to think about. It might be a good idea to STOP right now and take a breather :)
Stop Spice Girls
You just walk in, I make you smile It's cool but you don't even know me You take an inch, I run a mile Can't win you're always right behind me
And we know that you could go and find some other Take or leave it or just don't even bother Caught in a craze it's just a phase or will this be around forever
Don't you know it's going too fast Racing so hard you know it won't last Don't you know what can't you see, Slow it down, read the sign so you know just where you're going.
Stop right now, thank you very much, I need somebody with the human touch Hey you always on the run Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun (Always be together, Stay that way forever)
And we know that you could go and find some other Take or leave it 'cause we've always got each other You know who you are and yes, you're gonna breakdown You've crossed the line so you're gonna have to turn around
Don't you know it's going too fast Racing so hard you know it won't last Don't you know, what can't you see Slow it down, read the sign so you know just where you're going
Stop right now, thank you very much I need somebody with the human touch Hey you always on the run Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun.
Gotta keep it down honey, lay your back on the line 'Cause I don't care about the money Don't be wasting my time You need less speed, get off my case You gotta slow it down baby, just get out of my face.
Stop right now, thank you very much I need somebody with the human touch Hey you, always on the run Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun.
Since several months back, I have been going through a rough patch. As I look back, I can only describe it to an analogy of a broken glass.
Have you ever had a favorite glass? Be it a cup or decorative or otherwise, one that carries a lot of meaning to you and you treasure it very much?
I have. Or rather, I had.
Then one day, for some reason or other, my glass broke into pieces. I was so sad. My favorite glass shattered. But I couldn't find a way to discard it, so I tried to put it back together. However, it is not the same glass as before. I don't think it can ever be. It didn't look as good as before, but I can live with it. It is my favorite anyway.
Then, unfortunately, another blow came and shattered my pieced-back glass into even smaller pieces. Even though it broke my heart, I still can't find a way to part with the glass, so again, I picked up the shards and tried very hard to put it back together.
This went on for a couple more times; with each time the broken shards became smaller as I tried harder to put all the tiny pieces back together. And the smaller the broken shards, the more cuts I sustain from piecing back the glass, the more blood I bled from my fingers and my hands.
Then one day, I finally realized my hands were bleeding profusely. In my blind focus of piecing back my favorite glass, I didn't see the cuts of the glass in my hands. I didn't see the blood that was bleeding from the cuts. I was simply desperate to salvage my favorite glass. I didn't realize that by clutching on harder to the increasingly smaller shards, I was hurting myself more. For the first time, I realized the bleeding hurt more than losing my favorite glass.
And then, I released my clutch on the glass. I let go of the broken glass. I let the glass pieces fall. But this time, I didn't pick it up again.
I don't know which hurt more; the profuse falling of my tears or the profuse bleeding of my hands. I don't know whether I should have worked harder to save my favorite glass. But I want to stop bleeding. I want to start healing. That's why I released my hold.
Several months ago, I picked up the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom thanks to recommendation from a few friends. It gave me a lot to think about life, death and how we (and I) are living our present now. It was then timely as I was struggling to find the meaning of life and living in the past, present, and future.
Almost a year later, I picked Mitch's second non-fictional account, "Have a Little Faith", also by recommendation. Interestingly, it was also now timely read, because I've been pondering questions on faith. Like the author, I think about what the meaning and sense of faith is to me and what bearing it has in my life and the place I live in today.
Have a Little Faith is Mitch's account of his journey and experiences between two faiths, which started when his rabbi, Albert Lewis, requested for Mitch to write his eulogy. He accepted the request on the condition that he get to understand this rabbi as a man and we read this journey of 8 years. In parallel, Mitch also tells of his involvement with a pastor, who is a reformed drug dealer and convict, and is preaching to the homeless in a run-down church with a hole in its roof.
It is a lovely book, very well-written and gives much to think about. For me, it is a reminder of how I made life difficult for me by missing the simple yet elegant points in life. And how faith can help to keep us from discourse when we fail to see these points in life. There are a few quotes from the book that I would like to share: "...faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe." - Albert Lewis
"Be satisfied. Be grateful. For what you have. For the love you receive. And for what God has given you." - Albert Lewis on the secret of happiness.
"Sometimes, if they are communicating well, they have a good chance. If they have a similar belief system, similar values, they have a good chance. Love they should always have. But love changes. Love-the infatuation kind - 'he's so handsome, she's so beautiful'-that can shrivel. As soon as something goes wrong, that kind of love can fly out the window. On the other hand, a true love can enrich itself. It gets tested and grows stronger. That kind of love - the kind you realize you already have by the life you've created together - that's the kind that lasts." - Albert Lewis on survival of marriages.
"I think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That's TV or movies. But that is not the human experience. Like Sarah (his wife) says, twenty good minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. The trick is when things aren't so great, you don't junk the whole thing. It's okay to have an argument. It's okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It's part of being close to someone." - Albert Lewis on marriage.
"A happiness you cannot find alone." - Albert Lewis on commitment to each other in marriage.
"Would you want the world to all look alike? No. The genius of life is its variety. Even in our own faith, we have questions and answers, interpretations, debates. In Christianity, in Catholicism, in other faiths, the same thing - debates, interpretations. That is the beauty. It's like being a musician. If you found the note, and you keep hitting that note all the time, you would go nuts. It's the blending of the different notes that makes the music. (The music) Of believing in something bigger than yourself." - Albert Lewis when Mitch asked why is the world so fractured (with many different faiths).
"That is not faith. That is hate. And if you ask me, God sits up there and cries when that happens." - Albert Lewis when asked what if someone from another faith won't recognize yours or wants you dead for it.
"But today is not yesterday." - Mitch Albom
"That kindness saved my life." - Cass on Pastor Henry Covington providing him shelter and food when he was homeless.
"I know it. I done 'em, too. But it's not me against the other guy. It's God measuring you against you." - Cass when Mitch commented that Henry has done some bad things in his life.
"Maybe all you get are chances to do good, and what little bad you do ain't much bad at all. But because God has put you in the position where you can always do good, when you do something bad - it's like you let God down. And maybe people who only get chances to do bad, always around bad things, like us, when they finally make something good out of it, God's happy." - Cass on Henry Covington's past and his work for the homeless.
"If you could pack for heaven, this was how you'd do it, touching everthing, taking nothing." - Mitch Albom
"Mitch, it does no good to be angry or carry grudges. It churns you up inside. It does you more harm than the object of your anger. (Let go) or don't let it get started in the first place. You know what I found over the years? When I had a disagreement with someone, and they came to talk to me, I always began by saying, "I've thought about it. And in some ways maybe you're right."" - Albert Lewis on forgiveness.
"And I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain - no matter how smart or accomplished - they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love, and a peaceful heart." -Mitch Albom
"Please love one another, talk to one another, don't let trivialities dissolve friendships..." - Albert Lewis in his final message to his congregation.
We often spend time picking for red and shiny ones, those that look juicy and delicious. But more often than not, they are also very likely to be rotten in the inside.
We often overlook those ugly, yellow, sour-looking ones, not realizing that a great deal of them is sweeter and crispier than we perceived.
And when we do get a red, shiny apple that is also sweet and crispy, it feels like a blessing to have picked our ideal.
There are often times our red apples will be the ones that hurt and disappoint us. There are often times our yellow apples will be the ones that lifts us up. There are rare times our ideal apples will grant us pleasant memories to hold on to.
Life's a basket of apples. The choice of apple is always ours.
Lately, I've had tons of stuff going on in my life.
The trip to Paris and London marked one of the best moments in my entire life. It was my first autumn in Europe (hopefully not the last) and it was all a wonderful, delightful experience save for a few unpleasant incidences. And yes, the whole Europe-account (plus pictures) will come up... when I have the time to sit down quietly and write one =)
A lot of weddings (not mine) as well in the last month. Several more friends registered formally as husband and wife (i.e. R.O.M-ed), and a few held ceremonial marriages. I had the fortune to participate in a close friend's wedding - from the night before her wedding to the full swing day ceremony and elegant dinner reception - and was part of all the fun and madness that went on. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I was brimming with joy and pure happiness watching two friends united in matrimony; simply happy that they have found each other's company significant in their lives.
So I had been jetting back and forth two neighboring countries, watching friends committing to their partner for life (I hope). Maybe it was just me, but I sense people are starting to give me that look as if to ask whether a single woman like moi is envious with all her friends moving on to the marriage chapter. And you know what, it surprises me too, but I don't. While I'm very sincerely happy for my newlywed friends, I'm not at all envious of them getting married. I do stop to imagine what it's like to be in their place, though, exchanging vows that you would stick with that other person through thick and thin for the rest of your life, making children, starting family, and all that stuff. But I do not feel even the least envious. At the moment, I just don't feel like following the herd and walking down the default path. I want to take the road less traveled and find the unique place for myself in this world.
I have also been busy with another activity that is changing my life since the past month. Call it serendipity or fate or destiny or whatever, it is IT that brought Dr Mel Gill into my life. At a time just when I needed a mentor and motivator in life, he appeared and was there to guide my way. I recently signed up for a 6-day Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner course conducted by him, and I learnt so much more about life than I had in the last decade. I'll probably need a whole new post to even begin describe all the wonderful things that he had taught me. And because of him, I had the privilege to meet the most inspirational people in my entire life: Sister Teresa Hsu, Dilip Mukerjea, Dr Kwan KY, and extraordinary people who lead ordinary lives. I can't thank him enough for all the brilliant opportunities and wonderful insights he had shared at a time when I needed them so much. I feel humbled just being in the same room with him and all these people, what more being taught by them.
I'll probably discussed what he imparted to me in another post (when I have time to sit down and write...), but while this is still fresh in my mind, there's a poem by Sister Teresa Hsu I would like to share. Sister Teresa is a 112-year old former nurse, who in my opinion, is larger than life. She is the one person I have met in real life, who has nothing to give but only unconditional love and compassion. Just listening to her sharing her wisdom made my tears flow in class. She summed life with profound wisdom when she said:
Grieve if you must, Parting is hell, But life goes on, So smile as well.
Thank you Sister Teresa Hsu. Thank you Dr Mel Gill.
"The direction of love is from the... inside out. It's not from the outside in."
Of late, I have been attending talks by a psychologist and inspiring master trainer, Dr Mel Gill on discussions related to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). He is a charismatic speaker, who shares very enlightening thoughts and has somehow gave me courage to step out of my mental comfort/torture zone. Here, I would like to share part of his talk on the very controversial topic of love (you can also watch him deliver the talk here):
"Love is a gift, not something you deserve.
Let me give you a story about a man. This man was old, about 75 years old. He has no family, no wife, no kids, no grandchildren, nothing. And he lives in a terrace street, with all the terrace houses, about 15 houses on one side, 15 on the other side.
One day he won a lottery, a hundred and eighty million dollars. Very hard to spend ten million dollars let alone a hundred and eighty million dollars. (This is US dollars.) So he didn't know what to do, and he says, 'You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give every house in my street a thousand dollars a month.' Wow, what a great gift! So he knocked on the first door, he gave them a thousand bucks: 'Here's a thousand dollars, cash.' They almost refused to take it - because people are suspicious when you give them good things - they look at that, 'Ohh, what's with the cash? Are you out of your mind?' ...so on and so forth. But he give. So they took the money, and after a little while were persuaded to accept it.
Next month, he give them another thousand dollars, except they were, 'Okay, yea alright, if you insist, we'll take another thousand.' Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine months passed, he kept up until finally people accepted it. They were looking forward to the thousand dollars every month. He kept up for two years; almost two and a half years later, the old man decided to stop.
But you know what happened though? People started to get angry! He decided to stop because he was running out of money, he put the money somewhere else, and to buy some other things; because he has a life and other things to do. He stopped giving money. But these people had budgeted their entire lives around the thousand dollars. They built their entire lives around the thousand dollars! You know, the kids' expenses, this cost, that cost... and the old man's thousand dollars will pay for these etc..., and so they were very very happy, at that point. And now, it stopped! What are they going to do, 'We don't have that anymore, that used to be part of our lives!'
So they picked up sticks and stones, they came up to the old man's house at the corner of the block and they started throwing the stones into the window. They wanted to beat the old man up and bring him outside. By then he had disappeared because he knew they were coming, he just ran as far away as possible.
Love is like that. When it is given to you, whether it's married to you or given otherwise, it's a gift. It's a gift. It can pull away, it can stop at any time. It's their prerogative. Anyone's prerogative. So it may pull away, that's fine, at least when in the while that you had it, it was free. You didn't have to work so hard for it. And that is the direction of love. And when you recognize that, love is in one direction. The ability to be able to love someone is amazing, but it is a gift."
It's been a long time since my last post. A lot of things happened. Been kept busy. In the midst of these madness, this song speaks to me.
Angel - Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance For the break that will make it ok There's always some reason to feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction oh beautiful release Memories seep from my veins They may be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an Angel fly away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no difference, escaping one last time It's easier to believe In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness That brings me to my knees
In the arms of an Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of an Angel May you find some comfort here
For a sudden moment, I felt the sun vanished from the music world. It was unreal. Michael Jackson can't be dead. He's THE icon of pop music for the last 40 years. Even though he's not actively making music today, he's there. He's Michael Jackson.
But, no. Cardiac arrest took him away. It's just... surreal. That he's no longer here anymore.
While I hadn't been his ultimate fan, I do like his songs.
Yes, he's odd. He's eccentric. But he is Michael Jackson. And that equates to an individual with talent for song and dance that remains unsurpassed in the pop music world today.
That equates to an individual whose voice and moves changed the dimension of pop culture.
There's no other artiste today that I can think of, who can be placed at the same pedestal as Michael Jackson. He was a phenomenon. And I'm glad to have grown up in the age where he was there, constructing a whole new dimension of pop music. May the King rest in peace.
For '80s babies like myself, Transformers is one cartoon that probably defined our childhood. When Michael Bay came out with Transformers the Movie, I thought it was fantastic. I have no freaking idea how he can make all the Autobots and Decepticons transform so fluidly but the action scenes were just bloody fantastic. And I'm so glad to see Optimus Prime live in action!!
So, it goes without saying I was ecstatic when the sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was released. And I must say, I wasn't disappointed.
I'm not going to divulge the details here (lest I spoil those who have yet watched it), but I'm gonna rave about the action. It was non-stop exciting action with more transforming Autobots and even more Decepticons from start to end. It was just brilliant. I also like the touch of humor added, it gave a nice balance of serious and funny. My only grouse would be the lack of character development. It was so packed with action that the storyline kinda paled in comparison to the first movie.
But bottomline is, Transformers did not disappoint. Go watch it already!!
Of late, I hear things about the people I care that stirred both sadness and happiness in me. I see things about the people I treasure that brought me both pain and wisdom. I feel things about the people I love that both breaks my heart and warms my soul.
And I wonder, if we are courting pain by holding on to life's impermanence, will we be released if we accept impermanence as it is? But if we are free from the pain, won't life be just as dull as a white cloud floating by?
Three years ago, I would go to movies at a frequency of 1 per annum. Reason being, the ticket fares are bloody exorbitant and I find it ridiculous spending so much for a 90-minute reel time.
Three years later, I am going for movies at a minimum average frequency of 1 per fortnight. Reason being, the weather is so bloody hot there's no better place to be than inside the dark and cold enclosure of the cinema to escape the heat stress. I would be more than happy to pay a small sum for some visual action and respite from heat.
So in my escapade, I watched some movies which were (mostly) quite well worth the fee:
Knowing
The trailer had promised lots of action, excitement, suspense and mystery. To be fair, I did enjoy the action and drama, especially the scene at the underground subway. The whole logic of predicting tragedies from random numbers scribbled by 'chosen' children was fascinatingly freakish. However, the science fiction of Earth being decimated by a solar flame seemed incredulous. And I hated the cinematography; all the camera-shaking during the running sequences gave me a headache and made me feel like puking. But, the ending takes the cake: it left me dumbfounded. When the aliens and spacecraft came down and sucked the two kids and rabbits up with them, the only thought in my mind was, "What the hell?!" It was one movie where it was good until the last ten minutes screwed it all up.
And they could have casted a more good looking hero? Nicholas Cage didn't really fit the bill for me.
Night At The Museum 2
I really liked the first installment of Night At The Museum. It was hilarious with all the artefacts coming to life. So, I wasn't very sure if the sequel can really top that. Well, I can say, that while it didn't, the sequel was equally as hilarious. Hank Azaria as the evil Kahmunrah was just mind-blowing funny. The plot was lukewarm, but it was the dialogue and the poking fun at historical facts that was worth a laugh. Amy Adams was surprisingly good as the adventure-seeking Amelia Earhart, and the rapping trio of cupids as well as The (lusty) Thinker were really hilarious to watch. And the tiny head-bobbing Einsteins are really more than just merely reception decorations!
Monsters vs Aliens
One word: Hilarious.
From start to finish, I was laughing my head off. Initially, I was wary of watching this movie, because the synopsis scripted a rather lame storyline by my standards. And yes, after watching it I still think the plot is stupid and lame, but it is just so hilarious! The jokes and the characters were so funny, I laughed so hard that I felt lethargic after stepping out of the cinema. I really love the part when the mad cockroach scientist broke into a dance, decoded the password and declared his PhD was majored in breakdance! And brainless BOB was just so so funny. This is not one movie to watch intellectually but to laugh your butt off.
Angels and Demons
Okay, I didn't read the book. And I didn't watch The Da Vinci Code. Because I have read the book The Da Vinci Code, I was kinda apprehensive that I may not understand the story from the movie without prior reading the book; there was just too much narrative information in The Da Vinci Code. So, it came as a surprise to me that I did enjoy the movie Angels and Demons. The thriller did a good job in raising suspension, but having read Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code, the outcome was quite predictable for me. I sort of knew Camerlengo was somehow part of the plot, and the diversion of suspicion towards the Swiss Guards was just to make sure the audience see Camerlengo in a positive light. The mind-screwing (i.e. symbology) was not as gripping as what I've read in the Da Vinci Code, but reasonably fascinating. I liked the implication of pentagon and five natural elements, and the play with signs and angels. Nevertheless, the sceneries and outdoor shots were marvellous; they make me want to visit the Vatican City at least once just to experience the fantastic view from the Pope's vantage point. Hahaha.
I think I'll pick up the book for a good read.
The Taking of Pelham 123
I was taken in by the trailer. Action-packed, with hints of terrorism, it is one movie that seemed relevant to the social standing of our society today. Kinda reminds me of Tokyo's underground sarin gas attack and London's tube incident years ago. The movie was not a total disappointment; the action was good, the suspense was there, the cinematography was waaaaay better than Knowing. But the ending didn't really feel satisfactory. I mean, the entire terrorism plan was well thought and pretty smart I'd say, but I have no idea why gold trading would be volatile towards the state of transportation in a metropolitan city. And it just doesn't feel like a good end when the terrorist earned millions and then die at point blank when he had the chance to make a break. It was just.... not satisfactory.
I confess that I have been away indulging in guilty pleasures.
I've been religiously following Britain's Got Talent (BGT) 2009 on Youtube for 3 reasons: a) Britain's really GOT talent, b) Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan are the most enjoyable panel of judges to watch, c) Ant and Dec are absolutely the funniest hosts ever. (Did I also mention Dec is really cute?!)
It's simply marvelous the variety of super talented acts that auditioned for BGT. Street dance, opera, theatre, intrumentalism, ventriloquism, you name it Britain's got it. The showcase of talents was, in no better words, mind-blowing. There are also really stupid and funny acts that makes you wonder how sane the British are (Mr Methane, Darth Jackson...), but the talented ones were really really really a delight to watch.
I have to say, this year's BGT has a line-up of nothing but amazing talents from the semi-finals onwards. Every act (well, almost) was brilliantly fantastic at each session of the semi-finals, and I find it so difficult to pick a favorite for the Final. However, I thoroughly adore:
Of course, there had been also so much hype about Susan Boyle, the 47-year-old singer from Scotland, whose rendition of 'I Dreamed A Dream' from Les Miserables, stunned the world (and still do). Watch Susan at BGT '09 final
All these talents (and more) auditioned and competed for the coveted title of BGT 2009's winner as well as a chance to perform in the Royal Variety show in front of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. And seriously, you can't pick one from these because they are all equally fantastic!! The standard for BGT leapt really high this year, not one finalist was not good (well, except for 2 Grand, in my opinion).
And to my utmost delight, my favourite dance group, Diversity, was crowned the winner of BGT 2009. After their performance, there was no doubt they are the winner. In Amanda's words, they "nailed it" with their dance routine. It was sheer perfection.
It had been an excellent run of auditions and I simply can't wait for the next series of BGT to show more of British talents.
Can I just say, what blinking brilliant talents BGT have this year!
～みはる～
Disclaimer: All videos from Youtube and belongs to the respective uploaders. None of it is mine and all contents are owned by ITV.
Little Raincoat Girls
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Little girls in raincoats are so cute.
[image: Photobucket]
Saw a little girl decked in a mini-raincoat and carrying a mini
strawberry-shaped umbrella on ...
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